Ok, enough of that… I can’t believe people intentionally do this to themselves.
For the record, I weigh in at 179.0 lbs on my one day diet. Trust me, it was not just water weight, I did lose a legit 3 pounds. I expect that this wouldn’t happen to most people, but 1) I’ve always had a pretty fast metabolism, and 2) I clearly have no tolerance for caffeine whatsoever anymore. So my body works really hard to expel all that crap. Anyway, I am now crashing pretty damn hard from the caffeine hit, and hopefully will be back to normal tomorrow. I HOPE! Honestly, these stupid sinuses aren’t helping.
Random side effects:
- I have a major caffeiene headache that I am looking forward to sleeping off.
- I would randomly break into sweats at random points in the day whenever my metabolism decided it just wanted to work.
- I’m extremely tired from my first caffeine withdrawl in a year and a half
- I’m sore from my workout. I felt like I had a lot of energy, thanx to the super caffeine, but my body is more dehydrated than I’m used to, so now I’m just really sore. (even though I drank tons of water)
- My pulse isn’t exactly racing, but my normally really slow heart beat isn’t right now, presumedly still effects of the drugs wearing off.
So, 3.5 lbs in 24 hours. Extrapolating, if I were to continue this for the full six days I had intended, I would have lost 21 pounds. If I had done it for the 2 weeks that people on the net said it would take to get noticeable effects, I would have lost 49 lbs. Four weeks (the recommended program on the ad at the store) would have dropped me 98 pounds, or more than half of my weight. If I could have maintained the full 12 weeks that is the maximum recommended program, I would have lost a very respectable 294 lbs. thusly shifting myself firmly into the negative universe and discovering sub-space. Sadly, I just don’t feel up to it. Science will have to find some braver soul.
My recommendation: If you want to lose weight, use something a lot easier to deal with… like crack.
Not really a limmerick inspired by the
Now I lay me down to sleep…
No more Hydroxycut™, the risk too steep…
And if I die before I wake…
Well, it figures, really…
If you’re really sore, the other big thing to check is that you’re getting your potassium. Bananas, tomatoes and Dannon Vanilla Yogurt.
Yogurt is pretty bad for me (allergic to milk) but actually the pills come chock full of potassium, that’s another one of their things… really, I am feeling quite better this morning. I still feel like crap mind you. A little sore, but that’s to be expected… everything else I am willing to attribute to these infernal sinuses however.
Thank Gawd! You’ve come to your senses! No Mama wants to think of their son as an addict, Hydroxycut or otherwise. Sweet Dreams…
bah… and you didn’t say anything at all when I smoked for the last decade…
You’re not going to finish the bottle? Wuss.
nope… couldn’t handle it… but the bottle is sitting right here if you want to step up to the plate, biatch!
Hmm….
You fool! YOu complete and utter fool!
Bah! What’s the worst that can happen?
death… really… no biggee
Could it be that you just can’t handle your shit?
you just don’t know, man… that stuff is strong, man… crazy strong! it chaaanges you, man…
Wait a minute… you forgot the Vita-Ray™ treatment, didn’t you?
sonuvabitch!
i had a dream a bought a bottle (ok, it was actually a small barrel) of that stuff. you’re a bad influence, mav!
if I jumped off a bridge, would you?
Actually, I really do expect people who’s bodies are used to caffeine will fare a lot better than I did. Still, I don’t think its worth it.
which bridge? i’m cutting out coffee (by temporarily replacing it with red bull) so that might explain the weird dreams last night.
and normie crack is still crack, even if it is marketed so well…
which bridge?
Bifrost.
i’m cutting out coffee (by temporarily replacing it with red bull) so that might explain the weird dreams last night.
Isn’t that even worse? I’ve never actually tried it. I got off caffeine by first replacing coffee with iced tea and then cutting back on the iced tea and drinking more and more bottled water til I was totally off of it. I don’t even really miss it anymore. I will have the occasional cup of tea at home to relax, or sometimes I’ll have a coffee at a coffeeshop for personal reasons, but even that’s rare now.