I just thought of this great idea. NO-FU! A tofu substitute. It would be little cubes that sort of looked and tasted like tofu, except that it would be composed of processed chicken, pork and beef… that way, people like me who don’t eat tofu could still enjoy vegetarian recipes! It’s brilliant! Brilliant I tell you!
om
mmm, no-fu…
yeah… I’m pretty excited about this… because unlike other food substitutes, traditionally, tofu alternatives (aka, “meat”) do well in the market place… just think of things like hotdogs that have actual pork in them… see the innovative thing here though, is the form factor. Much like the guy who sales tofu packaged to look like a hamburger patty and swept the vegetarian world by storm, I’m going to revolutionize the carnivorous world by packaging beef in convenient easy to use cubes… Wrapped in plastic paper, you see… not metal… I’m gonna blow those fuckers at SPAM right out of the water…
Don’t like vegetables but feel guilty about not eating them? Now you can try NOFU vegetable substitutes! They have the look and feel of real vegetables, but are made entirely of meat!
Now with extra prions!
hmmm… that’s an interesting alternative marketing strategy… see, cuz I was thinking about going after the people who really do like vegatables but feel guilty about eating them because of the way it affects the ecosystem… widespread deforestation, corruption of the food chain… that kind of things…
hmmm… I’ll have to get the boys in demographics to do some number crunching…
at one point, we thought it would be a good idea to come up with a line of vegetarian fake meat products for vegetarians who want to be cannibal. Like veggie fingers, shaped to look like real fingers. Tofu tongue, shaped to look like real tounge. That kind of thing.