so since the new year, Kmart pharmacies has been doing these PSAs to help people with their resolution weight loss. This guy will ask a pharmacist some question about weight loss, and they’ll answer it. This one just aired:
Q: Does quitting smoking cause you to gain weight?
A: Oh no, no, no, of course it doesn’t. Actually, its the nicotine in cigarettes that heightens your metabolism. So when you quit smoking you just burn fewer calories. But if you do more exercise or eat better, you won’t gain any weight. So just exercise more if you’re worried about it.
Ummm, sorry… you know what with my dual english degrees and all, maybe I have a bad command of the language, but… isn’t that a yes?
So basically, they’re telling people that if they want to lose weight, they should smoke…
well, only the people who are smart enough to pay attention…
And people that smart would probably not be paying attention to K-Mart ads anyway………
well, its not really much of a KMart ad… its more a WPXI (or maybe all of NBC, I dunno) PSA. Its barely branded KMart at all, other than to point out that the pharmacists work there.
but yeah…
hey, wait a minute… are you saying I’m not smart?!?!
who me?
Sounds like a “you will probably gain weight but that is because you are a lazy pizza-eating blob so get off your butt and eat something healthy which, by the way, you can’t buy here” to me.
no, they were clearly lying… well misleading anyway… they can’t recommend smoking, but the truth is that cigarettes are a metabolic stimulant, so without it, you will gain some weight…
what they should have said was “Yes, you may gain some weight because without the nicotine, you’re calorie burn will go down slightly, but the health benefits far outweigh that, and all you have to do is exercise more to counteract that, which you will be better able to do having quit smoking.”
but instead they contradicted themselves, and just sounded stupid… to me anyway.
Well, it’s Kmart, aka the Big K. They’re going to sound stupid no matter what they do. And smell like stale BUTT…ered popcorn while they’re at it.
So this leaves me with a dilemmna.
I can start smoking to trim down to featherweight status, but if I do, I won’t have the cardio to be a boxer.
I guess I’d better light up and work on my first round Tyson style knockout.
You, my friend, require a nicotini!
Drunk, hyper, and rowdy!
Now THAT’S what I’m talkin about!
yep… clearly you’re better off taking up heroin…
I quote Abie Hoffman, who said, “Avoid needle drugs, the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.”
well seeing as how he’s already dead, isn’t that kind pointless… not to mention… you know… rude…
Well, Steal This Book, from which I get the quote, was written in the early 70s.
There is still the point about avoiding needle drugs. If a man that tells you how to grow your own and overthrow governments and stuff is telling you to avoid herion, there may be something to it.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
What with your dual English degrees and all, you might want to proofread your quote. I think you meant, “But if you do more exercise or eat better, you won’t gain any weight.”
You realize that criticizing an English major for sloppy writing is like criticizing a math major for imprecisely calculating a tip, right?
yeah… exactly… I mean, I did say that I had a bad command of the language…
anyway… corrected now…
Well, theoretically you won’t gain weight because you won’t need to eat as much in order to support your metabolic processes. So, to a first approximation, they’re correct.
Of course, the gotcha is that most Americans are sheep who have no ability to regulate their calorie intake, so they’ll gain weight.
Amusing ap story here.
actually, when most people quit smoking, they also eat more. Smoking sort of curbs your desire to eat. I think nicotine is also an appetite suppresant or something… If nothing else, if gives you something to do with your mouth. Maybe if you quit smoking, but start sucking a lot of dick, you’ll be ok…