ChrisMaverick dotcom

questions on the futility of adulthood…

Just out of curiosity. How many people actually like what they do for a living? I don’t mean are you in nirvana. Life is by its very nature going to suck sometime. We can’t all be Powerball winners. But seriously, do you actually enjoy what you do or do you hate it? Why or why not? Do you look forward to the new and exciting challenges of work or do you pray that a asteroid might crash into the earth and end your suffering? Do you expect things to get better? Are you afraid they might get worse? What keeps you going every day? Do you ever even think about these things or am I just an obsessive nutjob? (obviously, I know I am an obsessive nutjob, but am I JUST an obsessive nutjob?)

om

43 comments for “questions on the futility of adulthood…

  1. March 29, 2004 at 9:27 am

    Hrmm.. I enjoy what I do, even if I do get stressed about deadlines and frustrated on occasion. It’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life, but it’s a good place for now, and a good stepping stone to a position where I can make more interesting things for larger audiences. Or at least save up for grad school, from whence I can continue towards such aims.

    1. mav
      March 29, 2004 at 4:05 pm

      grad school continues to remain sort of a pipe dream for me. I’d love to be able to go, but there’s no way I can reasonably afford to do so as long as I have as much debt as I have. And paying off debt means working jobs with high salaries which also leaves little time for school, and of late also tends to leave me increasingly unhappy. Its a horrible vicious cylce, that I really need to find a way to break sooner rather than later.

      Unfortunately, I really haven’t been able to come up with a good way of doing that.

  2. March 29, 2004 at 9:30 am

    As you well know, I think about such things all the time. Knowing my mental state, take that as you will. My current job isn’t very challenging; it’s a means to an end. I work to live, but I don’t live to work. I have a plan, and having food and shelter are two very important parts of that plan.

    My fear that things will get worse is omnipresent. That said, I don’t mind my job. It pays better than being a security guard, I work with some really nice people (some of whom give me candy), and I’m not expected to take my work home with me.

    1. mav
      March 29, 2004 at 4:11 pm

      my current job isn’t very challenging, and honestly the pay is great. The hard part is that its hard to consider it just a means to an end because I have such disdain for what I’m doing. Even thinking about it conceptually tends to make me ill. I wish I could say I had a job that I just don’t care about and that the people are nice enough and yadda yadda yadda, but the honest truth is the success condition of doing my job well means that its that much harder for me (and tons of really good technology sector folks like me) to find a job tomorrow. Yes, I realize its temporary employment, but that’s what my job is. My job is to put people like me out of work. And my wacked out since of honor and right and wrong and all that jazz makes it very hard for me to sleep nights thinking about that.

      Damn you, Batman and your code of ethics that I grew up assimilating!!!

      1. March 29, 2004 at 6:35 pm

        Beats the hell out of doing something you hate that is far, far beneath your capabilities and pays you dick. COunt your blessing when they come and use the one perk to fund your true goal. Remember, Bruce’s goal IS to put himself out of work.

        Deep down, you know what you want to do and its not about money or job security. Its about being YOU. And you were never the one afraid to get your hands dirty to get yourself there. So suck it up, walk it off and be prepared to take a few more losses to get yourself where you want to be; pay your dues first and your debts later.

        And yeah, I know how all that sounds, but true’s true…no matter how its phrased or who says it.

        Est Solarus oth Mithas (My Honour is my Life)
        -G.

        1. mav
          March 29, 2004 at 7:30 pm

          again… its not so much about the job sucking… sucky jobs I’m entirely used to and entirely capable of handling… its the constant knowledge that I am actively doing something that is hurting lots of people… myself included…

  3. March 29, 2004 at 9:38 am

    I enjoy what I do. I don’t look forward to it, as I’d rather be at home, playing video games. But when I get up in the morning, I have no qualms about taking my four hours of sleep, getting into my warm-but-not-hot-shower and spending an hour in the car to get there…

    …and really, that’s the best indication that I like this job.

    1. March 29, 2004 at 9:45 am

      I enjoy what I do, but you knew that. 😉 At the same time there’s a hell of a lot of stress and 80-hour weeks and ridiculous demands, all of which would likely cause a lot of people to just throw up their hands and walk away. In the end, the *real* reason I like what I do is that I’m surrounded by awesome people who also like what they do. The fact that I get to play a lot of Nintendo is just a bonus. Here’s hoping you find what you’re looking for, Mav. 🙂

      1. mav
        March 29, 2004 at 4:20 pm

        yeah… see that’s definitely the other extreme. I don’t want to enjoy what I do so much that it takes over my life. There are just too many things I’m interested in. Too many things that I enjoy doing. I want to have something that I can do every day, and it would pay the bills, clear my debt, maybe let me buy a house and on a good day even give me insurance, while leaving me time to enjoy the finer things in life… you know… comic books, wrestling, pinball and drinking..

    2. mav
      March 29, 2004 at 4:17 pm

      But when I get up in the morning, I have no qualms about taking my four hours of sleep, getting into my warm-but-not-hot-shower and spending an hour in the car to get there…

      see… is that too much to ask? I don’t even have to be happy working. I’d settle for not dreading it.

    3. mav
      March 29, 2004 at 4:26 pm

      by the way… what do you do exactly?

      1. March 29, 2004 at 5:06 pm

        I’m a teacher at a private academy for juvenille delinquints. It’s a weird job – not easy, not relaxing, but very fulfilling… which is, in a way, relaxing and sometimes easy.

        Uh. Hard to explain. I like people, for some reason, and I like the kids. They’re really hard to like. But I like them.

        1. mav
          March 29, 2004 at 5:16 pm

          actually, that sounds really nice… I have a thing for kids too… particularly ones that have been abandoned by everyone else… maybe I should look into that sort of thing.

  4. March 29, 2004 at 9:43 am

    I like what I do at times. It’s good knowing that what I’m doing is improving the work day of so many thousands of people, and that *I* will affect the bottom line of this huge Corporation in some small way. Likely Millions of people will see my work in the next few years. That’s good, and I do not stress over it, I know I’m doing a good job.

    However, the Corporate World is not where I belong. I can play the game, but it’s not for me. My job is my paycheck. Head down, ramming speed, and I’ll get through this project. Now to put a few resumes out there in my spare time.

    The Why of not always liking my job is part politicking, part job function, but mostly that I don’t feel I’m fairly compensated. For what I’m doing, I should at least break $50k, no? Apparently not. But I’d trade some salary for flexibility in schedule and additional vaca days. And a guaranteed “no more than 40 hours”. These 50hour+ weeks are really getting to me.

    1. mav
      March 29, 2004 at 4:33 pm

      Ah see… you must have pride… I remember pride… vaguely… I don’t remember what it felt like so much, but I think I used to like it…

      *sigh*

  5. March 29, 2004 at 9:51 am

    I absolutely love what I do, but I also make practically no money :/. And though I’m hoping the money will improve eventually, the chances of it ever being steady or luxurious are practically nil.That all too often seems to be the necessary tradeoff in modern society, which IMO is one of the biggest things wrong with modern society…. but that’s a rant I’ll leave to you, since you do them so well 😉

    1. mav
      March 29, 2004 at 4:39 pm

      in my fondest dreams I actually own a little tiny dive bar with a room above it where I can write and paint. I don’t make tons of money, but I’m happy. In reality, if I gave up “real” work to be a writer I’d not only starve (starving I can almost handle) but people would likely come and take away all my stuff… well definitely my truck… and they’d also probably not let me buy the bar… I still maintain that the answer is I should be left a large sum of money, but none of my dying relatives seemed to have any of that. So instead, I’m kind of working on winning the lottery. That isn’t going so well…

      life sucks…

  6. March 29, 2004 at 9:52 am

    Hmm. I won’t say I’m fulfilling my higher purpose or anything. I have had worse jobs. I have a genuine respect and affection for many of my co-workers and bosses. I also have a loathing of certain aspects of my day.

    But hey, I move in a year, I’ll be doing something else. It isn’t fitting for someone with a highschool diploma to complain about their employment. I make enough to pay my rent, most months, and I’m thankful for that.

    1. mav
      March 29, 2004 at 4:42 pm

      See, maybe if I had a goal like that it would help. In one year, I get to do X… yay! Only I don’t really know what I’m going to be doing in a year. The best I have thus far is “in two weeks, this stupid contract assignment is over and I get to be unemployed again! yay!!!” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.

  7. March 29, 2004 at 10:30 am

    I like what I do a lot.

    In my bad moments I worry that it will ultimately wind up being pointless (or misguided). I also worry that something will happen (like the company will fail) before we succeed.

    I also often feel impatient (shouldn’t we have made a bigger difference by now?). Sometimes I think about setting a deadline: if we haven’t made a big splash by X date, screw it all, I’ll go work for Google.

    1. mav
      March 29, 2004 at 4:45 pm

      Sometimes I think about setting a deadline: if we haven’t made a big splash by X date, screw it all, I’ll go work for Google.

      Hmm… so why don’t you?

  8. March 29, 2004 at 11:20 am

    I love the core of what I do, writing Mac software. I like working with some clients. I do not look forward to working with other clients. I’ve liked and disliked various managers, groups, and projects over the years.

    Part of why I’m so sensitive about the whole offshore-outsourcing issue is that people just seem to assume a job is a job and that’s all it is. They think that if I can’t make a living doing Mac development that I can just re-skill and do something else and be just as happy. They don’t realize that doing Mac development professionally is a quality-of-life issue for me.

    1. mav
      March 29, 2004 at 4:54 pm

      well, that’s the whole reason I brought this up in the first place.What I do (at least for the duration of this contract) is support offshore outsourcing… something that I tend to disagree with in general, and really don’t like in the specific means in which we’re doing it. And the fact that companies are becoming more and more “successful” at it (in no small part due to people doing jobs like mine), means that I may havce to “re-skill” and do something else. The one saving grace is, maybe I will do that and be happier… Jay-Z knows I couldn’t be much more miserable… actually I shouldn’t say that… I can always be more miserable. But anyway, the point is, I shouldn’t have to. If I change careers, it should be because I want to. Not because all of the jobs are taken up by cheaper (and in this case, pretty inferior) labor.

      On the other hand, maybe if I can find the next big thing now, and start doing it, then by the time the rest of you are looking to move over because all software development is now being done by methane based bacteria on Mars, I’ll already have my foot in the door and I can be… oh joy of joys… middle management… I figure if I start today, I probably have at least a 3 or 4 week head start.

  9. March 29, 2004 at 12:29 pm

    I know where you’re coming from. I don’t like what I do. I keep going back because it beats being unemployed, and the paycheck is nice. Eventually, and I want to get out of the tech biz and do something more interesting. But right now we’re just building up a nest egg so we *can* do other things without having to worry about money later.

    1. mav
      March 29, 2004 at 4:59 pm

      yeah… see my above dreams (to about being a writer/bar keep. But its so hard to save that kinda loot. And as far getting out of the tech biz… its like the mafia in a lot of ways…

  10. March 29, 2004 at 1:08 pm

    That depends on what you mean by what I do for a living. I’m a building supervisor. However, the nature of my job means that a good portion of my time at my job isn’t really spent doing job duties, other than the duty of being there. So, I spend a lot of job time doing school work. I like my school work, or I wouldn’t be trying to get into grad school. I generally enjoy what I’m doing while I’m at work. Sometimes I look forward to it, sometimes I don’t. But, I don’t know if you’d say that I’m enjoying being a building supervisor, or enjoying the job because I’m often spending the time there being a student.

    1. mav
      March 29, 2004 at 5:00 pm

      hmm… need an assistant!?!

  11. March 29, 2004 at 2:22 pm

    I like a lot of what I do (come on, today my job was to play with opera singers and swords). I’m working towards being able to do a lot more of what I like to do and get a much better paycheck for it than I’m getting now. I’m holding on to the optimism that this will work out.

    1. mav
      March 29, 2004 at 5:04 pm

      hmm… need an assistant!?! I can probably work weekends, when I’m not being katie’s assistant!

      1. March 29, 2004 at 6:00 pm

        If I am ever doing a show or film in an area where you are residing and I have need of your professional wrestling skills I may in fact take you up on that.

        You must be comfortable enough with the techniques to be able to teach them or help teach them, and to be demonstrated on by me (won’t hurt a bit, I promise).

        1. mav
          March 29, 2004 at 7:26 pm

          well, I’m far from having anything approaching expertise… but you know me… when have I ever had a problem being demonstrated on….

          ooh! do actors learn forearm training!!!

          1. March 29, 2004 at 7:43 pm

            ooh! do actors learn forearm training!!!

            Any form of impact conditioning is generally frowned upon in a theatrical setting.

            Though sometimes they are just askin for it…

          2. mav
            March 29, 2004 at 7:59 pm

            Any form of impact conditioning is generally frowned upon in a theatrical setting.

            wusses…

  12. March 29, 2004 at 2:37 pm

    I love what I do, just not all of the conditions under which I do it. Of course, we already know that I am an obsessive nutjob. Also that it took me a lot of time to go ahead and do this. I spent quite a lot of times in jobs that I didn’t like one bit, even if I liked the people in the office.

    1. mav
      March 29, 2004 at 5:08 pm

      actually, I have considered being an english teacher before. I’d obviously much rather do it at college level, but then we’re once again getting into that needing a degree thing. How hard is it to get a gig teaching high school? or middle school, which is what you do, I guess.

      1. March 29, 2004 at 6:36 pm

        You could be a substitute. pretty easily. I mean, you could get certified and allowed to substitute teach, pretty easily. I’m not sure the actual job would be that easy unless you began each teaching assignment with a 1-to-5 minute video of your wrestling practice.

        AFAIK, to be a full time teacher you need to have or be working toward a degree in education.

        1. mav
          March 29, 2004 at 7:32 pm

          ah… there’s the rub again… see getting a degree implies going to school. Going to school requires having money… having money implies being out of debt… being out of debt requires working which gets me right back to where I started… *sigh*

          1. March 29, 2004 at 7:48 pm

            Don’t be silly. I’m still in debt.
            Of course, I did get a sweet deal. But I know a lot of people working on their Masters in Education that are teaching currently. I really don’t know what the protocol is for normal people with no Education degree becoming teachers. Who knows, the school system could be desperate.

            And then there is always the scare-the-poo-out-of-them option I suggested you employ as a substitute. Seriously. I recommend it.

          2. mav
            March 29, 2004 at 8:04 pm

            well, I’ll certainly keep it in mind as an option… I’d need to figure out a lot of stuff though… like in order to reasonably pay my debt and maintain a standard of living to which I am (or well, I like to be) accustomed, there is a bare minimum amount of money I need to make.

            but yeah, it really is something to think about…

  13. March 29, 2004 at 5:07 pm

    I love teaching… because I learn something new every day.

    Sometimes it sucks big time, and is stressful, but the good parts are overwhelmingly good. I’m also glad to know I can do it anywhere.

    Sometimes I worry that I won’t be able to handle the full-time stress, but I think I’ll be ready for it when it comes.

    1. mav
      March 29, 2004 at 5:19 pm

      you would be the third person who has mentioned teaching here. And like I said to the others, its something I have thought about in the past but never persued… maybe I should really start thinking about it more.

  14. March 29, 2004 at 8:29 pm

    tech jobs are unfulfilling

    I think a lot of people who work in the tech sector find it less than fulfilling. In my experience, there can be some gratification in solving problems and learning new things, but that gets old after a few years and it becomes drudgery plain and simple. It has for me at least.
    Since I am unwilling to give up my fat paychecks to go back to school, at least for now, I had to find a job that gave me quality of life bonuses in terms of low stress, set hours and fun people to work with. That is doing the trick for the moment but it is only a band-aid.
    Don’t sweat off-shoring jobs, it is going to happen with or without your help. You might as well make a few bucks from it.

    1. mav
      March 29, 2004 at 9:20 pm

      Re: tech jobs are unfulfilling

      lots of stuff happens with or without me causing it… I tend to take the stance that that doesn’t make it right, and that I still don’t have to be apart of it… I feel the same way about the two party political system, for instance.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.