Once upon a time, I posted a little survey about porn to find out what various people who read this journal thought. The thing that I discovered most was that either women are much more into porn and erotica than men, or perhaps just more willing to talk about it. Anyway, its a year later and I was having a similar conversation with someone this weekend. This person, who has asked to be kept anonymous, but may or may not be my girlfriend, and I were postulating the differences between men and women and how they view erotica, and what they look for when they are watching porn. Specifically do women enjoy watching boy-on-boy action as much as men enjoy watching girl-on-girl?
Similarly, I was listening to Howard Stern on the drive in to work this morning. He was discussing the Thanksgiving episode of Survivor. On said show there are currently two lesbians competing, one an older woman (maybe 60-something) and the other a former playboy model (maybe 30). This weeks episode had the “loved-ones visit” where the show brought out one loved one for each of the remaining Survivors. Both of the lesbians had their girlfriends brought out. Now when beststephi and I watched it, I noticed immediately that the footage was editted to remove the obvious “”hello, I’ve missed you so much” kisses between both lesbian couples. We were led to believe that instead after having not seeing their long-time lovers for a solid month, and living in the jungle eating bugs, the best these people wanted was an awkward platonic hug. Except it was quite obvious to me (and apparently to Howard) that in both cases, a kiss had occured. CBS editted out in fear of the FCC. I noted, as did Howard, that CBS didn’t bother to remove the kiss by the one heterosexual couple on the show.
So here’s the thing. Gay and Lesbian porn. My inclination is that men like watching lesbians go at it more than women like watching men. But its just a guess. And so, a survey. Feel free to skip some questions if you like. Also, if you must, you may answer anonymously, but I kind of wanted to be able to ask followup questions:
1) Are you male or female?
2) Are you straight, gay or bi?
3) Do you like watching heterosexual porn? Does it turn you on? Does it offend you? How about just kissing?
4) Do you like watching girl-on-girl porn? Does it turn you on? Does it offend you? How about just kissing?
5) Do you like watching boy-on-boy porn? Does it turn you on? Does it offend you? How about just kissing?
6) Any other insight about the subject that you have is welcome. Or if you didn’t answer the questions from last time, I’m probably still curious.
And of course feel free to invite people I don’t know to come answer these highly important sociological question. HOVA, I need to get into grad school so that I can write papers on this shit.
1. I am female.
2. I am straight with some tiny bi parts. 🙂
3. Hetero porn is okay, but sometimes I find it a bit too exploitive and misogynistic for my tastes.
4. Girl on girl stuff is okay, if the chicks are hot. As in, if it were real chicks with real bodies and not porn stars with plastick tits.
5. Boy on boy stuff is pretty goddamn hot, actually.
5. Boy on boy stuff is pretty goddamn hot, actually.
Why? I mean, under what specifications? For girl on girl you gave qualifiers. Are there qualifiers here too?
Well, gay porn stars tend to be in good shape, and a lot of them are actually attractive, as opposed to hetero porn stars, who are usually icky. So there’s that.
I figure if one hot guy is good, then two or more are better. I find there’s less distraction, too. I’m always looking at the chicks, picking them apart like a catty bitch. I don’t tend to do that when there are just a couple of large dicks on the screen.
Plus I used to have the fantasy of being with two guys, but two guys in real life fucked that up, so that reason is no longer valid.
ok, so the answer is, in your case, as a female, there is a specific visual element?
Thankyou for the in depth explanation, btw.
For me, yes, there is. If I had different tastes, I might feel differently. But my tastes run against the grain of most hetero porn I’ve seen…
(And sure, no problem.)
1) male. 2) straight. 3) het porn does nothing for me: doesn’t turn me on or offend me. nor just kissing. 4) girl on girl porn turns me on, but almost the same effect is obtained just watching girls kiss. 5) guy on guy porn does nothing for me, nor does two guys kissing, and it doesn’t offend me.
) girl on girl porn turns me on, but almost the same effect is obtained just watching girls kiss.
interesting. So is that “a little” or “a lot.” And why do you think that is? Do you there is something special about lesbianism over heterosexuality. Is it just the “dangerousness” of it? Is it just that too hot girls are better than one?
I find it interesting that het does nothing for you, but les does. (as opposed to lesbian just being better because hey, more chick!) So is it that the presence of the guy hurts it, or is it that there needs to be two girls? Where does group sex porn fit in? Is two girls some how hotter than two girls and a guy?
Male.
Straight.
Yes. Yes. No. Not so much, but nothing wrong with it.
(I have a strong preference for a certain “style” of porn, which I think correlates roughly 100% with the amateur side on the amateur-pornstar axis.)
A little. A little. No. Eh.
No. No. No. No.
The main reason I find lesbian porn arousing at all is that at an emotional level I don’t really believe in lesbianism; I imagine the women involved as bi. If I really believed they were strict lesbians, I’d probably lose interest.
You didn’t mention solo videos of masturbation. I sometimes dig on such videos of girls; I’ve never seen one of a guy to the best of my recollection, and don’t especially want to.
The main reason I find lesbian porn arousing at all is that at an emotional level I don’t really believe in lesbianism; I imagine the women involved as bi. If I really believed they were strict lesbians, I’d probably lose interest.
What do you mean by that? Are you saying that for the purposes of watching said videos you can be enticed because there is a male mentality in the back of your head of “sure, they’re gay, but they haven’t met me yet. They just need a good deep dicking. God I’m such a stud” Or are you saying that you don’t believe that you don’t believe that women can actually be totally gay in the first place, so there’s always a chance? Does the same apply to dudes?
You didn’t mention solo videos of masturbation. I sometimes dig on such videos of girls; I’ve never seen one of a guy to the best of my recollection, and don’t especially want to.
That’s because it didn’t really occur to me. I wasn’t so much thinking about the twoness of gay porn, so much as the gayness of it. For the record, as I mentioned in my response to above, there’s all kinds of other issues that come up when one considers group sex porn in any of varying combinations as well. Anyway, that’s kinda why I left that open question 6 in there. So that people could say random stuff like that. So, ummm… thank you.
I think I meant this one. Note, I’m not saying that I actually believe this so much as that this is how it feels to me. I recognize that feelings can be wrong, and that this one probably is.
Kind of the opposite, actually—at a gut level I don’t feel like a guy can be bi.
Yeah, the interesting thing for me is that a video of a lone person masturbating isn’t intrinsically gay or straight at all (well, unless they’re talking about their fantasies while they do it or something). The act of watching that video could be construed to be, however.
Kind of the opposite, actually—at a gut level I don’t feel like a guy can be bi.
So can a guy be gay then?
So for you, you’re saying the interesting thing about porn isn’t so much in the strict visuals but in the fantasizing that you might be included in the scenario with the subject?
Both my intuition and my reason say yes. It seems a little strange, because I’m definitely not and I can’t really imagine what it would be like, but definitely possible.
Up until fairly recently, I thought that was the sole purpose of porn. I mean, I’ve never really had trouble getting in the mood. But then again, I’m male and 22, so…
) Are you male or female? Feeemale
2) Are you straight, gay or bi? Straight
3) Do you like watching heterosexual porn? Does it turn you on? Does it offend you? How about just kissing?
I like watching it, only because I like to sit there and narrate it, It’s fun. Lol, but it doesn’t turn me on. It used to before I started having sex of my own.
4) Do you like watching girl-on-girl porn? Does it turn you on? Does it offend you? How about just kissing?
Don’t like watching it, although it doesn’t offend me either. Not sure why guys are sooo obsessed with it though.
5) Do you like watching boy-on-boy porn? Does it turn you on? Does it offend you? How about just kissing?
Nope, Nope and Nope.
but it doesn’t turn me on. It used to before I started having sex of my own.
What changed? Does it just seem unrealistic now? Or is it like a thing where it just can’t compare so it seems like a waste? Or is it something else entirely?
1) Are you male or female?
Female
2) Are you straight, gay or bi?
Straight, had some bi times…
3) Do you like watching heterosexual porn? Does it turn you on? Does it offend you? How about just kissing?
Nope I don’t likey the porn. It doesn’t turn me on, it only offends me when my man needs it (which my current man doesn’t) – Kissings fine….
4) Do you like watching girl-on-girl porn? Does it turn you on? Does it offend you? How about just kissing?
Don’y Likey – again no turn on – it doesn’t offend me as long as it isn’t on my television. Girls kissing is fine.
5) Do you like watching boy-on-boy porn? Does it turn you on? Does it offend you? How about just kissing?
Nope tried watching some of it with my sista’s once – did not turn me on – did the opposite..
6) Any other insight about the subject that you have is welcome.
My ex was OBSESSED with porn – it ate up his life – he started wanting me to be more like the people in the films, which was disturbing. The funniest memory was waking up in the middle of the night, walking into the PC room to see him jerking of to it – I withheld sex for a long while after that, it was hard to get that image out of my head.
Nope tried watching some of it with my sista’s once – did not turn me on – did the opposite..
Hmmm, ok… why specifically? I mean, if the boy-girl porn and the girl-girl porn are just a zero effect for you. Why was the boy-boy a negative effect? You’re not particularly puritanical, as far as I can tell, which would have been fine, but I don’t think its shock value that makes it negative for you. Or am I wrong? The reason I brought this up, in first place was because I was noticing several (straight or bi) women being into the boy-boy porn lately. And I got that there were some that were ambivalent to it. But it never occured to me that there would be some that were straight and more turned off by the boy-boy than the boy-girl.
Ok – I just need to say this before people start looking at me strangly – I am not against gays – the big marriage prop was voted on here and I voted NO on banning it.
Anyway the thing that made me squirm a bit was just the butt close ups – It was rather gross to me. and There was a bit of fisting…. I dunno….. actually my sister is one of “those” women who likes gay porn, her excuse is that she only wants to see the penis antyway so why get straight porn when she can have total penis action – but I just don’t get it.
Then again, as you saw I don’t really like any porn.
yeah, I knew you weren’t anti-gay. I don’t think you sounded like that at all.
Anyway, that’s kind of what I was wondering. Does your sister read LJ. Maybe she can comment herself. I was initially really trying to see if women were turned on by watching two guys go at it. So far, its looking like the answer is “not so much.” But as you said, with your sister, there must be obvious exceptions. So I’m trying to understand those.
Well I pray she son’t looking aroudn on LJ. She would have wanted me to tell anyone, she is a “God fearing christian” afterall.
If only God knew how much she loved that gay porn..hee hee
No I don’t think she goes on LJ.
But like I said – her main reason in so much penis. But for me that really doesn’t explain anything. Because the penis alone doesn’t turn me on, even though men like to think that just waving it around will make women want it.
sorry I can’t answer your question. Maybe your onto a new fad – like everyone being bi for a time there. who knows.
Because the penis alone doesn’t turn me on, even though men like to think that just waving it around will make women want it.
Really? Damn… now I have to rethink my entire strategy for when I’m out clubbing. 😉
Gawd I messed that post up – she Wouldn’t want me telling people.
But then again we arewn’t talking right now anyway so I don’t care.
hehehe… but it reads so much funnier the other way. God wants you to watch the gay porn! If there’s one thing god likes, its sodomy. You can tell by all the catholic priests.
1) Are you male or female?
Female.
2) Are you straight, gay or bi?
All the way bisexual.
3) Do you like watching heterosexual porn? Does it turn you on? Does it offend you? How about just kissing?
I love watching heterosexual porn, and it really turns me on. Kissing is okay, and if the two people are naked and touching while kissing, I will be turned on.
4) Do you like watching girl-on-girl porn? Does it turn you on? Does it offend you? How about just kissing?
Yum. Yes, oh yes. Even more so than guy on girl. I love it. Kissing–yes, it turns me on.
5) Do you like watching boy-on-boy porn? Does it turn you on? Does it offend you? How about just kissing?
No, not really. I don’t mind it if it’s in a group sex situation–that may even turn me on a little bit, but not otherwise. It doesn’t offend me. Guys kissing does absolutely nothing for me.
6) Any other insight about the subject that you have is welcome. Or if you didn’t answer the questions from last time, I’m probably still curious.
Well, I love group sex pornos, and lesbian pornos. I can also really enjoy a straight-up guy and girl action. I don’t like guy on guy or bondage that much. I am bisexual and I love women’s bodies, much more so than guys’. I love penis, don’t get me wrong, but mainly on my man. I also like masturbatory videos of guys and girls. Those are always fun. My motto is such: penises are cute and vaginas are sexy. 🙂 (although my boyfriend’s penis can really turn me on). I love PlayBoy and some Internet porn sites. Nude girl pictures rule!
welcome to the party… nice to meet you.
Ok, so you answered a lot closer to how I mostly expect boys to answer. So that begs two questions:
1) why do girls turn you on so much more than boys? Are they just that much better looking?
2) why bother with boys at all. Or do you only bother with your boyfriend? Are you mostly gay except for the one guy who you find really sexy? Are you mostly straight except that girls are just really hot? Is it something in between, and can you explain it?
You said you were all the way bisexual. But it seemed like there was a definite lean towards girls in your answers.
Long, Long response…
1) I think that girls, in general, have a lot more sex appeal than guys. I mean, their clothes are more revealing/sexy/better to look at, they use make-up and skin products and THEY HAVE BOOBS! Yes, I think for the most part, girls are A LOT better looking than guys, still, guys have a lot better personalities most of the time.
2) I am sexually attracted to guys. But, only to the person with whom I’m involved and not just random guys. Another motto of mine: Girls are for sex, guys are for relationships. I would not like to have a relationship with a girl and neither would I necessarily like to have sex with one. I just loooooove looking at them. I wouldn’t be able to go without having sex with my boyfriend. See, it’s a lot more complicated than just looks when it comes to sex for me, you have to have a good personality, good sense of humor, be very clean etc. etc. But, when looks only are concerned, yes, I am more attracted to women. I can’t really explain it, other than I’m not either straight or gay, but somewhere in between. I can take either. I can fall in love with either. Whomever I fall in love with, I stay faithful to. But, I can still enjoy good ol’ world of the adult entertainment 🙂
Have you ever heard of the Kinsey scale? (I graduated with Psych. degree, so I must bring that up :). Basically, he’s a psychologist who said that very few people are either straight, or gay, but that they are somewhere ‘in between.’ If going by Kinsey’s scale, I would definitely say that I’m more attracted to females than males, and that I’m, maybe one step closer to females than to males, and no, I’m not entirely bisexual, you are right.
I say ‘all the way’ bisexual, because I can have relationships with either, guys and girls, and in fact, ever since I was 7, I had relationships with both interchangeably. But, when it comes to attraction, you are absolutely right, I’m mostly attracted to girls and my boyfriend, and definitely no other guys. Ah, and I also tend to date feminine (gay, metrosexual) looking guys.
Oh, this is all so interesting! I did a big research on this back in college, are you doing it for research purposes or just for fun?
Oh, and can I friend you?
Re: Long, Long response…
ah, psych majors are sexy (I’m required to say that, as is a psych PhD.)
Yes, I am well aware of Kinsey. And your explanations made a lot of sense and were quite thorough. So thankyou for taking that kind of time out to talk to someone you didn’t even know. I was serious, if I ever manage to leave the real world and go back to the academic world, I very well might write a paper about this sort of thing.
Oh, and can I friend you?
Of course you may.
Re: Long, Long response…
oh wow… I just noticed that you also like wrestling… you just jumped up another 10 points in cool.
1) Are you male or female?
Male.
2) Are you straight, gay or bi?
Straight.
3) Do you like watching heterosexual porn? Does it turn you on? Does it offend you? How about just kissing?
I enjoy a fair amount of pornography, but as my age increases, what I need to see to become titilated has unforunately increased. Soem of the spitting and slapping porn offends me. I enjoya good kiss as much as I enjoy a good sex scene.
4) Do you like watching girl-on-girl porn? Does it turn you on? Does it offend you? How about just kissing?
A girl on girl scene needs to be shot really well to make me enjoy it. Andrew Blake stuff…generally, you need that money shot, to me at least, to let you know when it’s over. Belladonna’s recent girl/girl stuff is the exception/ It’s rather great.
5) Do you like watching boy-on-boy porn? Does it turn you on? Does it offend you? How about just kissing?
It doesn’t offend me, I just have no interest in it.
6) Any other insight about the subject that you have is welcome. Or if you didn’t answer the questions from last time, I’m probably still curious.
What is the latest trend in porn you’re enjoying? Mine is Indian girls, personally. Peeing is so last year.
What is the latest trend in porn you’re enjoying? Mine is Indian girls, personally. Peeing is so last year.
I’m a weirdo. I’m one of the few people in history who actually prefers Skinemax stuff to actual porn. But its not for sexual excitement reasons. I just find it really funny and amusing. In particular, I have a well documented affinity for bimbos from space movies. I know they suck. I know they’re ridiculous. But its just one of those guilty pleasures I love. Like watching guys wrestle in turtle suits.
That said, there is some hardcore porn I like, but usually I need to find the girl in question really hot. At the moment, my favorite would be Sunrise Adams, which really is probably a pretty boring choice as far as kinkyness of porn goes, but I just happen to think she’s way hot.
1) Are you male or female?
At the risk of being smacked about by the politically correct police: No.
If you must categorize me this way, I am biologically female.
2) Are you straight, gay or bi?
Er. I’ll say “bi” instead of a long winded explaination why none of these really work, either.
3, 4 & 5) Do you like watching {heterosexual, girl-on-girl, boy-on-boy} porn? Does it turn you on? Does it offend you? How about just kissing?
Yes. Sort of, mostly I find it amusing. Hell no. Kissing is just … kissing. even with lots of tongue.
6) Any other insight about the subject that you have is welcome.
Dude, what about 3 ways? How do people feel about watching boy on boy and girl? two girls on a guy? two guys a girl and a pizza oh wait never mind… [I always thought that show sounded like a bad porn movie. (as if “bad porn movie” isn’t a tautology)]
PLEASE do not start surveying about animals. I will come over there and beat you some.
Dude, what about 3 ways? How do people feel about watching boy on boy and girl? two girls on a guy?
yeah, I left out the group thing. It just didn’t occur to me at the time. Same as the solo stuff others have mentioned. I was wondering more about how people responded to the visuals of gay vs. straight porn and not so much the particulars of the combinations. Maybe I should have expanded upon it though. Maybe in a follow up post.
PLEASE do not start surveying about animals. I will come over there and beat you some.
Damn, so much for the follow up post.
Hm. I debated whether or not I should answer this, but I guess I will.
1) Are you male or female?
Female
2) Are you straight, gay or bi?
Probably straight
3) Do you like watching heterosexual porn? Does it turn you on? Does it offend you? How about just kissing?
Nope. Not really. Nah, it’s just boring.
Kissing can be sickening or fantastic or sweet or a complete turn on.
For example, the Lancelot/Guenevere kiss in First Knight was an incredible turn on. Yowza. But mostly because of the story and music, and the fact that Julia Ormond is a knockout, and that passionate Richard Gere crinkly nose thing. Stellarly hot.
There were some really sweet “awwwwwwwwwww” kisses in Love, Actually, but again, those were mostly situational.
Situations are sexy. Watching the PDA’s of others, not necessarily.
4) Do you like watching girl-on-girl porn? Does it turn you on? Does it offend you? How about just kissing?
Eh. Not really. No. Situational, again, see above.
Note that the small amount of girl-on-girl I’ve seen was always really funny and amusing. Like, intentionally.
5) Do you like watching boy-on-boy porn? Does it turn you on? Does it offend you? How about just kissing?
No. No. No. Same as above.
6) Any other insight about the subject that you have is welcome.
Are you only interested in movie porn? What about smutty novels or photography? Those are much sexier, IMO.
Are you only interested in movie porn? What about smutty novels or photography? Those are much sexier, IMO.
well, the conversation that sparked my question was about movie porn, so that’s what I asked about. But I’m definitely interested in any insight you have as to what would make novels or photography or whatever else sexy or non-sexy.
With photography, I’m not sure.
Maybe it’s a quality thing, or a combination of quality and imagination. Take a look at some Herb Ritts. The cowering supermodels kind of freak me out, but they do photograph nicely, plus you can construct a story for yourself about why these sexy chicks are staring at you, maybe not specifically or consciously. Most of the movie porn I’ve seen, which is admittedly not much, is kind of skanky and preposterous.
With books, it’s much easier, I think, to pick a book that has a scenario you find sexy or appealing and stick yourself in there.
so then, like I said with kenn above, for you its about the ability to fantasize yourself into the situation, as opposed to just being enticed by those who are in the situation?
1) Male
2) Straight
3) I don’t really enjoy porn. Beyond heckling the storylines, it doesn’t do much for me. If I had to rate the three categories of porn, however, this would be rated number two.
4) See above. This category would be rated number one. I like looking at women, and I don’t like looking at men.
5) See above. This category would be rated number three. I don’t like looking at men.
6) I think my dislike of pr0n stems from the fact that it doesn’t target all of the senses in addition to a “I can’t have it, I don’t want to look at it” thing.
hmmm… so then you’d be all about the VR porn?
I’d never leave the holodeck.
geek!!!
also, totally unrelated, Transformers stuff that you might not have seen: http://uk.download.yahoo.com/ne/fu/oa/eurcncs185030.mpg
Pretty sure you saw this one years ago:
http://home.comcast.net/~themichaelsmith/VWHiRes.mpg
1. female
2. bi
3. eh. depends. is it good? yes, there is a such thing. some porn is better than others. it does sort of turn me on, yeah. bad porn offends me. just kissing? usually rather uninteresting unless preceeded by lots of plot and/or backstory as to why the kissing is supposed to be important.
4. pretty much the same as #3
5. I’ve honestly never seen any guy-on-guy porn, so I have no basis to judge. Generally, when I’ve watched porn it’s at someone elses suggestion, or at least input. no one else seems to want to watch it. it hasn’t really occured to me to be currious enough to insist on suggesting it. I’d suspect I might get the same answers as above but can’t be sure. I imagine there might be less of a ‘turn on’ due to not having a character which I can identify with and be mentally placing myself in their role. Don’t really know, though.
Hmmm… this brings up an interesting point. I wonder if there is a distinct difference between men and women there. Perhaps men prefer to view women and imagine the women might want them while not being distracted by other males in the fantasy, whereas women prefer to be able to relate themselves to a female character in the fantasy. Maybe this is related to the higher (perceived) incidence of bisexuality in women these days. Perhaps not.
I did write a paper back as an undergrad where I argued that the reason that both men and women’s pop fashion magazines (say Maxim and Cosmopolitan) as well as male and female targeted advertising featured sexy women was because with men the concept is to create the idea that the viewer might possess the subject, whereas with women the concept is that the viewer might become the subject. Should I ever actually manage to become a grad student, this is something that I really think I’d like to look more into.