so exactly one month ago, I renounced my American citizenship in favor of pledging my groovaliegence to the United Funk of Funkadelica.
Again, last Friday, July 1st, at an IWC show, I stood in front of a few hundred people and announced that the United States utterly sucked and the greatest “American Country” was Canada and yay for Canada Day.
Today, Pennsylvania governor, Ed Rendell signed a law that allows beer stores to be open on Sundays. For this moment, right now, I don’t quite hate freedom. If he had fixed it so I could buy beer at a gas station or convenience store, I might have cried.
Tomorrow I’ll realize that only being able to sell beer between noon and 5pm, hours that are mostly taken up by watching the football games that I’d be wanting the beer for anyway is lame and annoying, and I’ll go back to hating freedom. But for now, God Bless America Pennsylvania.
So my prodigal, do you expect this great land to just let you back in with open arms?
Yep… and I expect it to smile and take all of my shit until such a time as I decide to walk out on it again.
America is such my bitch…
Sorry, we voted. We decided that you will have to go through a “review” period as a citizen of the Banana Republic for 30 days while we decide on your citizenship status.
We will let you know the council’s decision.
do I get free khakis?
No, just the standard
employeecitizen discount.I dunno that that is going to work for me. I think i might end up leading the other citizens in the Great Khaki Revolution. Power to the people!
Mmmmm… there was this one really hot girl in college named Khaki…
Pencilvania is the only state I’ve lived in that actually requires you to buy a whole case of alcoholic enjoyment rather than just the occassional six-pack. And then you’ve got this whole case sitting around, why not have a couple?
yeah, it also sort of encourages you to drink more. If I could buy a six pack whenever friends were coming over for dinner and finish it that night, that’d likely make me drink far less than I do by buying a case and then having to finish it off.
Ok, not really in my case. I’d still buy cases of beer, but I mean, maybe for someone who wasn’t really a drinker.
It also encourages fitness. Those cases are heavy, particularly when things come in glass bottles.
yeah, and its all made of nice healthy grain…
Get your punk-ass out here to California. Vodka at 5am on a Sunday at a major supermarket? No problem!
and in that way, it’s just like heaven…. well except that heaven isn’t going to fall off inot the middle of the sea, any day now.
SEE, we should moave to California. At least we’re happy until its (our) tragic ending…
are you kidding… we’re not even done with our move from 6 blocks over that way, it would take months to complete a move to California, and its going to fall off into the ocean like any day. We’d never have time to be happy.
Amen
“Welcome to the 20th Century, Pennsyntucky!”
Oh, wait, you still have to go to a different store for all of your hard liquour needs, and it’s also closed on Sunday. Oh well, back to the Dark (and sober) Ages for you!
Re: Amen
Dammit, I can’t spell Pennsyltucky.
Re: Amen
dude… we hicks totally made it legal to buy hard licquor on sundays almost 2 years ago.
This comment is a week late (I have been reading livejournal about fortmonthly) but I noticed today that there are many more drunk people, and many more people with disabilities which were probably brought on by copious drinking earlier in life, wandering the netherhoods (and main thoroughfares) of San Francisco than I ever remember seeing in Pittsburgh. Here there are liquor stores on every street corner, open until late at night. In PA you kind of have to plan ahead if you want to get toasted. I plan to explore the netherhoods of Pittsburgh next time I return, to see if maybe I just never noticed these people before, or if maybe there really is something to be said for the blue laws.