Its around this time every year that we celebrate those great days gone by where a bunch of undesirable white people fled their country travelled across a grand body of water to start their lives anew. They landed on these great shores and decided to give thanks for all the blessings they had in their life. So they prepared a feast and invited the indigenous people of the new land to join them. They fed them turkey so that the tryptophan would sap their energy and then they smothered them in maggot encrusted blankets and gave them syphilis so they could steal their land.
And then, two days later, on Thursday, they gave thanks.
I propose that the Tuesday before Thanksgiving be designated the Griefsgiving. A day where we celebrate everything we’re pissed about. I’ll start.
Why the hell were there no hot teachers who wanted to fuck me when I was 14? What the hell? When I was 14, there was a gay choir teacher who got in trouble for molesting a boy in my school. One day the police showed up at the school, arrested him and dragged him away in handcuffs. He was replaced with another choir teacher who ended up having an affair with a female student and eventually leaving his wife for her. But there wasn’t a single hot female teacher in the school that I can recall, and if there was, they certainly weren’t interested in fucking me.
A few years back it was just Mary Kay Letourneau. The world was shocked, but I never cared much, because really, she wasn’t all that hot. But apparently this gave ideas to a whole slew of horny model types. Pamela Rogers, Miss WCW Monday Nitro 1997 and bikini model apparently got bored with her husband after only one year, presumedly because he was really bad in the sack, because she felt she needed needed to go out and fuck a 13-year-old boy to get some release. And she did it over and over again.
Then today, it was reported that Debra Lafave, middle school teacher/bikini motorcycle model, also a newlywed apparently bored with her small dicked husband, pled guilty to having an affiar with a 14-year-old boy. I looked around. There are websites devoted to tracking this sort of thing. Was I just missing out? Were other people having crazy middle school teacher sex and I was just too clueless to join in? This sucks. I feel like I wasted my childhood. Maybe I should go sit in marmal8‘s class and ask her for “extra credit” after class.
Seriously though, I really can’t think of a teacher I thought was hot when I was a kid. Not a single one. In fact, they all seemed kinda old and many of them pretty much sexless. Was that just me? Did anyone else even have a crush on a teacher? Did anyone ever fool around with one? Or is this a new phenomenon? I find it amazing that a bikini model would get married, become a middle school teacher, become bored with her husband in less than a year and start fucking a student. I find it phenomenal that it happened twice in one year. Maybe I’m a weirdo, but I guess I get being attracted to someone much much younger. My tastes don’t so much go down to the 14 year old level, but I could totally see being tempted by a 16 or 17-year-old. But I can’t imagine Wanting to screw anyone twice my age. Not now, and really not when I was 14 either. But even thinking back, I’m sure there were women in their 20s and 30s that I thought were hot back then, celebrities, MILFs, maybe even just random women at the store or something, but I can’t think of a single one who was a teacher. So did anyone, male or female, have a different experience? Also, how young is too young. Not to actually act, but at your current age (tell me what that is) what’s the youngest age on average you think you’re attracted to. What about the oldest?
And I guess since its Griefsgiving, if you have something else you want to complain about, tell me that too.
See you didn’t go to a school where sex ed had a lab component. That wasn’t introduced until later.
See… that’s the problem with the educational system in the hood. All those kids being left behind. Do you realize that 1 out of 10 inner city children leave high school not knowing how to properly smack it up, flip it, and rub it down?
> leave high school not knowing how to properly smack it up, flip it, and rub it down?
Oh noes, they need some body bags!
Apparently some 12-13 year olds were having lots of sex in my middle school, but I was not one of them. Found out about it in 2003, hmph.
oh don’t get me wrong… its not teen/preteen sex that I am surprised by. Its the frequency with which it occurs with teachers. In particular hot ones, but really any teachers at all.
I dunno about proper technique, but when my older sister used to teach in the South Bronx and East Harlem, she had some pretty scary stories (teachers walking in as sixth graders were having sex in the back of the classroom).
see, again, that’s different. I fully expect sexual experimentation between middle aged students. It’s the trend toward the student/teacher relationships that is surprising.
(and again, I am also bitter by the fact that I don’t remember there even being any hottie teachers to just look at when I was that age. Did you have any?)
My 8th grade year, 2 hot teachers started at my school. They were both under 25, if memory serves, and unmarried without children. So I dunno if they count.
why wouldn’t that count? that’s pretty much exactly what I was talking about.
You seemed more focused on the older, more MILF-types.
But I’ll be damned if every kid in that school didnt want a piece of their ass.
nah, Ms. Nitro and Lafave are both in the early-mid 20s.
I remember back in 3rd grade there was a student teacher all the boys had a crush on, Ms. Graham. And the girls all liked the music teacher, Mr. Glass. He even had a CD out.
Your ‘Griefsgiving’ sounds a lot like Festivus. If you REALLY want to be bitter about Thankksgiving, then check this out.
I don’t think its any more like Festivus than Thanksgiving is like Christmas. There are lots of redundant holidays. Now this national day of mourning thing. That’s more what I was getting at. Dammit. People always steal all my best ideas.
Of course, my version is cooler cuz it includes having sex with bikini models.
Oh… and in the interest of full disclosure, I did have Festivus in mind when I came up with the name Griefsgiving.
also, happy birthday (well according to LJ, anyway)
heh, thanks. 🙂
I had a hottish science teacher in grade school. I remember making my first D&D character ever during her class. There was also a hot teacher in my high school when I was there, but she didn’t teach a class I was in.
weird… I would think having a hot teacher would make me either pay more attention or just sit there and fantasize. It doesn’t seem like it would make me want to do something else, like make D&D characters…
frickin’ geek!
I think that was 4th grade, which would put me at eight years old and well before puberty.
oh, I see… you were a slow starter. I was way into clockin’ da hos by the time I was in 4th grade.
I so knew you were going to say that.
Well, I am a damn attractive man… even as a nine year old.
Hell, I was smokin’ hot when I was six.
Hellz yeah with the velour shirt!
yes… I was pretty damn fly, wasn’t I?
And the expression on your face…you were just getting ready to sweet talk some young thing, weren’t you?
please… that’s grin of a young man who has just gotten himself some…
Ooh, sorry dude. I had several HAWT teachers in high school. They were fresh college grads, maybe 22 to 24 years old. They were science geeks, too. One had a DNA helix tattooed on her ankle. I also remember being very attracted to Cindy Crawford when I was possibly less than half her age.
I am…wow…26 now. I find that I’m not attracted to sexy girls under 21. Even though they are conventionally attractive and could star in pr0n, I feel like they’re just kids and I wouldn’t touch them.
I’ve been attracted to some women in their 40s. Angela Basset is damn sexy, and until recently I was still attracted to Susan Sarandon.
I feel so old.
to be fair, I think its more acceptable for a 14-year-old to be attracted to a 28 year old than the other way around.
Define the difference between thinking a girl under 21 is attractive and being attracted to them.
And finally, how does any of that make you old?
I know there are women whom I think are attractive but don’t want to have sex with. If an attractive woman is under, say, twenty-two, she probably falls into that category.
Ok, so by this definition you are saying:
Right.
Interesting…. so how do you rationalize a Tatyana into that mix?
“She’s gonna be fine as hell when she grows up.”
yes, but is the “22 line” you referred to earlier fixed, or does it float as you grow older. Will a 16-year-old Tatyana today ever hit the age range where you might consider her?
Adding seven to half my age has actually been a pretty good predictor for the minimum age I’m attracted to for several years now, though that’s someone coincidental. It’s more of a maturity thing than anything else. With a few exceptions, I don’t particularly want to deal with teenagers.
Wouldn’t that be like 42?
Seriously though, it would be more than 22.
It’s 24, fucker. I kill you now.
I don’t particularly want to deal with teenagers.
As someone who is paid to deal with teenagers, I say, “You are a wise man.”
There are way too many pretty young female teachers at my school. A parent remarked on this last week during conferences and we had a good laugh. There are not enough handsome male teachers for my tastes. One of my male colleagues reported buxom young ladies leaning over as they talked to him and other flirting behavior.
I am not aware of any boys who are attracted to me in that way. The student I refer to as Alejandro does frequently tell me and his young female math teacher, “You look pretty today” and he did ask me to marry him. He will be a hot hot hottie in another 10 years. But then, as now, he will still be too immature for me to consider in any real way.
I had funny teachers who were great to hang out with, but the only one worth hitting was the AP Bio teacher. I don’t think I ever thought of him that way, but now that I consider it, he was pretty hot.
1) so the colleague is saying that students are flirting with him? or other teachers?
2) I’m not sure that you not being aware of boys liking you means that they aren’t. In fact, I think its pretty likely that at least one of them would have to be. Out of curiosity, how old is the boy who will be hot in 10 years now?
1) Students.
2) Naturally this is the case. It could be that some of my boys are terribly distracted by my beauty – stunned, even – and cannot complete their schoolwork for this reason. However, I am white and therefore both uncool and kryptonic for many of my students. Their youthful attempts to struggle with this paradox renders them unable to act.
2b) 13 or 14. Which makes him instantly unattractive.
2b) sure… but if you go take some bikini pictures on a motorcycle and then get married, I bet you’ll be wanting to screw 13 year olds in no time.
That seems to be more of a chicken and egg question.
What is it with AP Science teachers? Both of the hottest teachers I mentioned were the AP Chem teachers. The first got pregnant and was replaced by the second, who got pregnant the next year. Hmmm.
OK, some more-or-less disturbing tales from the Connecticut suburbs- you know, like in “The Ice Storm.” That’s where I am right now. (And a happy Thanksgiving to yinz)
I don’t recall having hots for teachers in middle school/junior high, but I did for some adults, female friends of my older brothers, females of all ages in my school. And as early as 5 yrs old naked ladies were a turn-on (and I think that’s not unusual in our culture)
As for teacher-student carnal relations… in HS a girl in my class stood up on the bus ride home and announced she was a lesbian, and that she was f-cking a teacher (science teacher IIRC.) Not surprisingly, that teacher was summarily dismissed. Surprisingly, those two are still together now, after close to 20 years!
One of those teacher-boink-student, convinces student to kill hubby cases was close to where I live. One of my friends became a penpal of that student-in-prison, having sympathy for his plight. At first that disturbed me but now, I understand- being a horny teen, it is so easy to be manipulated.
There was a gay male AP math teacher about whom rumors abounded, but I suspect they were malicious and unfounded.
There was at least one male PE teacher dismissed for bonking students. That must be common- there’s a pixies song where Kim Deal talks about something similar. http://www.pixiesmusic.com/lyrics.php?sid=43&albid=2
That’s all in a school of about 1200 students, grades 10-12, mostly kids from well-to-do families.
A friend of mine in junior high had a 24 year old boyfriend- 10 or 11 years older than her- not a teacher. It was 7th or 8th grade she told me that a scumbag meant “used condom…” Anyway her parents took him to court for statutory rape when they found out and sent her to school out of state. Which bummed me out, because I had almost no friends, and she was really cool.
My first summer out of college, I worked two weeks in an ice cream parlour with a high-school friend. She had a boyfriend who was already out of college and I thought that was wrong. That was hypocritical in retrospect, since I’d had a relationship with a senior during my freshman year, and was still pursuing her that very same summer… These days, I’ll consider relations with anyone 18+, though frankly, I find people my age are the most interesting and quite hawt…
As for teenage sex in general- one of my classmates estimated that a third of the women she knew had abortions by the time they’d graduated. And when I went to school in PA, another woman who’d grown up in central PA estimated that 1/3d of her female classmates in HS had kids and dropped out- from which we hypothesized that 1/3 of high school women get pregnant, and they’ll have abortions if they’re available in their area.
Happy thanksgiving everyone! Today’s a good day to count your blessings.
while I was doing the research for this rant (yes, I actually research them) I came across an article that I didn’t bother to use about a male Health teacher who made his female students perform oral sex on each other in class during sex ed talks…
damn, I got into the wrong career… uh… never mind.
An anonymous friend of mine has lived the dream.
She had a crush on a hs teacher, graduated, and then, as they say, “hit that.” But she was (I think) 19 or 20 before actually hitting that, and we don’t know (I don’t know, anyhow) if he was having dirty thoughts about her when she was 15 or 16, so I don’t know how that figures into your equation.
It happens…I do know a retired teacher from my school who married one of his former students. But they hooked up long after she was of age.
yeah… see, that kinda seems normal to me… male teachers seducing female students even seems believable, if not normal. its really the trend toward women teachers seducing young male students that surprises me.
My first fencing coach who was also a Social Studies teacher married one of his students right after graduation.
in high school or college? I guess high school since you said social studies.
Yeah, I think I mentioned that there was a chior teacher who left his wife (they had a two year old daughter) for a student and married her right after graduation. Allegedly the affair had started when she was a sophomore or junior… so soon after the daughter was born, if not before.
well, one of my profs at CMU also married one of his female students. They’ve been together many many years.
Its weird… as a boy, it seems totally natural to me to fantasize about sleeping with a student (particularly a hot chick in a catholic school girl outfit… I don’t care how cliche it is, its crazy hot). But fantasizing the other way – about being the student and seduced by the teacher – that just seems weird.