ChrisMaverick dotcom

on t-shirts and tits (ok, this one was easy)…


Sexy Northerner
Originally uploaded by chrismaverick.

So there was a story in the news this morning about a group of 23 Fox Chapel high school girls who “girlcotted” Abercrombie and Fitch to get them to stop telling T-shirts they found offensive. The T-shirt in particular that got them all riled up was one that had the words “Who needs brains when you’ve got these” across the chest.

The girls went so far as to suggest alternate T-shirt titles for the A&F to use. T-shirts that celebrated intelligence and academic achievement. Among the suggestions:

  • “Your book or mine?
  • “You’re just jealous because I have a 4.0”
  • And you know what the really sad part is? A&F has actually agreed. They have decided to pull “offensive” T-shirts off the racks.

    *sigh*

    WHAT IN THE BLOODY BLUE FUCK!?!?!

    Now do you people see why I hate freedom?

    Look, at the risk of sounding sexist, let me point something out: “Tits are funnier than brains!” They just are. Deal with it. Actually I like the sound of that. Maybe I’ll put it on a T-shirt. If I did, would anyone buy one?

    These girls won’t. They make a good point. One said, “”The money’s coming out of our wallets. We’re putting our money down for their products. So, they’ve got to make it better.” Fine, so buy T-shirts you like. Why can’t the rest of us buy T-shirts we like?

    The thing is, I’m kind of a T-shirt enthusiast. I love funny T-shirts. I wear them to parties. I’ve even made it a part of my wrestling gimmick. I realize that not everyone shares my love of stupid offensive T-shirts. beststephi for instance doesn’t care for them. You know how she deals with it? She doesn’t fucking buy them!

    I’m even ok with schools banning offensive T-shirts from their dress codes. You’ll note that I don’t wear my offensive T-shirts to work. I’m fine with that. But will someone please explain to me why people think its ok to push their standards of decency on me? Its like the people who want the FCC to regulate cable, the internet and satellite TV and radio. Let me make it abundantly clear, I’m a fucking grown ass man! I like certain aspects of low-brow humor. I make good money and I choose to spend it on said humor. NOW LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! Is that so hard?

    And on top of that, the T-shirt slogans they selected are lame. “You’re just jealous that I have a 4.0?” Of all the pompous bullshit. Maybe they’re just jealous that other girls have nicer boobs. Who ever made the decision that boobs are more important than brains anyway? Why not just wear a shirt that says “I’m a nerd, please beat me up.

    Now that I think about it, that’s an awesome slogan to put on a T-shirt. If I make one, will anyone buy it?

    In closing, I’d just like to point out a couple of things. First, I don’t actually know that the british gentleman in the picture above is wearing an A&F shirt. I just really like that picture and it seemed to be a good fit for this rant. Second, damn, the girl to his left has a nice rack.

    om

    63 comments for “on t-shirts and tits (ok, this one was easy)…

    1. December 7, 2005 at 6:49 am

      While brains may jiggle in nearly as entertaining a way as breasts, getting access to them is usually too much work.

      1. mav
        December 7, 2005 at 12:57 pm

        heh… ok, that’s a funny image, but a bit too longly worded to fit on a T-shirt.

    2. December 7, 2005 at 1:17 pm

      Make the nerd t-shirt, and I’ll totally buy it.

      1. mav
        December 7, 2005 at 1:29 pm

        do you think it would go better as “please beat me up” or “please kick my ass”

        1. December 7, 2005 at 1:37 pm

          “please beat me up” sounds more high school.

          1. mav
            December 7, 2005 at 2:56 pm

            granted… I’ll try to mock one up later tonight when I’m not being swamped by meetings… stupid work getting in the way of my creativity… grrr….

          2. mav
            December 8, 2005 at 5:56 am
    3. December 7, 2005 at 2:04 pm

      i think “tits are funnier than brains” is a great t-shirt slogan.

      here’s my two cents: first of all the fact that thay have to call it a “girlcott”, makes it obvious that they are man-hating feminists.
      so, of course they’re pissed off. second of all, i saw a picture that accompanied the article on the post-gazette website and i thought “why do they have a picture of a twelve year old boy? oh…”

      1. mav
        December 7, 2005 at 2:55 pm

        I’d say its more that they’re just stupid and not feminists. I hate that so many people identify themselves as feminists without realizing that feminism entire point is to allow a woman full control over her life and being and that by marginalizing sexuality out of the picture or by denegrating the female body as secondary to other traits (like say, intelligence) you are being just as objectifying as someone who goes the other way. Maybe even more so.

        I hate people…

        So how much would you pay for such a t-shirt? 😀

        1. December 7, 2005 at 4:43 pm

          …Feminism entire point is to allow a woman full control over her life …

          Thank you. I actually just read this article by some woman claiming that feminism is dead because more women are choosing to stay home and raise children instead of going to work. ARRRRRRRRG. The whole POINT of feminism was to give women the choice! To DO degrade their right to choose! (Also, until men can breastfeed you cannot expect male and female connections to childbirth to be exactly the same!!!) The fact that women choose differently from men with regards to the workplace does not mean that feminism is dead. But the fact that women are STILL being compared to a male standard in the workplace certainly says something about whether or not feminism has entirely succeeded.

          1. mav
            December 7, 2005 at 8:03 pm

            Exactly my point. First of all, the T-shirts were jokes. Second of all, even if it were true. Even if all a particular girl were was a big boobed brainless bimbo, who gets by simply by shoving her tits in people’s face. Then the entire premise behind feminism should allow her to do so if that’s what she really wanted. Its no more right to demand that a girl can’t be slutty or stupid or vain than it is to demand that she has to be.

          2. December 8, 2005 at 2:45 am

            “I actually just read this article by some woman claiming that feminism is dead because more women are choosing to stay home and raise children instead of going to work. ARRRRRRRRG.”

            Yes. My mom got so much shit from her friends in the 70s when she wanted to stay at home with her kids. So much shit. Though that’s what she wanted and chose to do. … Morons.

            1. mav
              December 8, 2005 at 5:44 am

              I want to stay home with my kids… but I may just be lazy…. nah, actually, kids are cool!

        2. December 7, 2005 at 6:38 pm

          feminism entire point is to allow a woman full control over her life

          On this, we agree.

          by marginalizing sexuality out of the picture or by denegrating the female body as secondary to other traits (like say, intelligence) you are being just as objectifying as someone who goes the other way

          And on this, we disagree. I feel like society as a whole judges men on brains/abilities and women on body/looks. Now, maybe you don’t do that (or maybe you do?), but it’s a common problem and one with which I take issue. Sexuality is not a woman’s defining characteristic, no matter how much the media or your desires tell you otherwise. Nor is sexuality a man’s defining characteristic, as much as some “liberated” women might say they believe it is.

          For a girl to pretend all she’s got going for her is a pair of breasts is, well, stupid. And I find it frustrating. Yeah, the shirt’s sort of funny, if you haven’t spent time with people who don’t look you in the face, because they’re too busy looking elsewhere (especially if those people were more powerful than you in the context of where you were), or other people who write off all of your opinions because you’re “just a feminist” (and given that I’m an egalitarian more than I am a feminist, I mostly got accused of that because I happened to be female).

          Maybe I’ve just had bad experiences, or something, that have made me feel so strongly about this issue.

          And while I might agree with you that female sexuality is an important issue, I find I still disagree with what you write. I’ve pinpointed why that is, I believe: your posts read as though your definition of “female sexuality” is “men’s right to stare at women’s breasts,” or, phrased a little differently, “women’s right (obligation?) to show off their bodies in a way that pleases people who desire women.” And that isn’t my definition at all. I don’t think a female stripper is a celebration of women’s sexuality any more than the Chippendales are a celebration of men’s. Either case is just someone making financial gain off others’ baser habits, and it has nothing to do with “celebrating” anything. Or with the sexuality of the performers, except as objects of others’ desire.

          (And it’s likely that the people “girlcotting” things were either ill-informed or were trying for a pun; there’s no reason to assume they were ‘man-hating.’)

          1. mav
            December 7, 2005 at 8:40 pm

            but don’t you see that you aren’t really disagreing with me? You’re disagreeing with them. I never said that a woman was defined strictly by her sexuality. I never even said it was the most important thing. In fact, if one follows my dating history over the past couple decades or so, one will discover that really, I don’t much care for “stupid” girls. I also don’t much care for “ugly” girls. Call me too picky if you want, but I tend to like cute smart girls. That’s just me. To each their own.

            See, what I think you are really complaining about is that the T-shirt kind of objectifies the wearer into a certain one-dimensional chariacture. I agree. People are not one-dimensional. But it’s not the person. It’s a joke on a T-shirt. My specific statement is that “who ever said brains are more important than beauty?” (or specifically boobs). Let’s say that a girl has a Playboy style body, but a below average IQ. Maybe just because that’s how she was raised, maybe she has a learning disability. Do you honestly think its wrong of her to make money by posing nude? I think that’s incredibly prejudicial. Not everyone is genetically gifted in the brains department either. I think its wrong to assume that those who aren’t but are gifted in the physical department are somehow “bad.” Just as wrong as it is to make that assumption the other way.

            And that’s what these girls are recommending. The problem is its not as obvious because their T-shirts aren’t very funny. If it were me, I’d have designed a T-shirt that said “I may be flat chested, but my company IPO’d at 157/share.” Or “maybe I’m ugly, but I’m smart and rich.” Or even simply “who needs boobs when you have brains like these?” All of those shirts are much funnier than the ones the girls came up with because they make fun of the one-dimensional mockery. The very stereotypes that cause prejudices and discrimination are what make the shirt funny.

            Often people like to claim that “of course the brain is all that matters.” “Looks are unimportant.” But that’s simply not true. And not even just in the “big boobed girls get better breaks” way. Looks matter. If they didn’t then no one would bathe. Or comb their hair. My company would allow me to wear jeans and T-shirts to work. And if looks didn’t matter, then these girls would never have complained about the A&F shirts in the first place. Because, really who cares what other people wear?

            My point is, you’re misinterpretting. I’m not at all talking about my right to look at a woman’s chest. Besides, I’m totally an assman. What I’m talking about is the right of a girl to be what she wants to be. And if she wants celebrate her breasts then she should be able to. Is being a stripper a celebration of femaledom? No, its a job. But being a lawyer isn’t a celebration of femaledom either. And to me its wrong to judge either of them without knowing the specifics of the personality and situation of the person. But you know what? I’ll still make a joke about either one. But in reality, I absolutely refuse to judge either one. And I think that’s what the girls are doing. They are making a value judgement that says “being smart is good, being pretty is a non-issue.” That’s not true. And its not fair.

    4. December 7, 2005 at 3:28 pm

      I would buy that t-shirt. just to be obnoxious.

      1. mav
        December 7, 2005 at 4:38 pm

        which one?

        1. December 7, 2005 at 5:20 pm

          Either or. Or both depending on how much they cost but I’d prefer them to be baby tee’s. I love rocking the boat. It’s fun.

          1. mav
            December 8, 2005 at 5:45 am

            http://www.cafepress.com/mav_lj

            done and done… though actually I went with “More Fun” instead of “Funnier.” Demographic data told me it was better.

            Of course if you really want the other, I can add it too.

            1. December 13, 2005 at 9:49 pm

              ok, I’m definitely interested. Let me scrounge up the money. I haven’t forgotten.

            2. mav
              December 13, 2005 at 10:00 pm

              heehee… I made it just for you. It’ll be there whenever you want it.

              Oh! are you coming to my party this weekend! I have a shortage of Theresas.

            3. December 14, 2005 at 8:48 pm

              I unfortunately cannot attend. Big surprise eh? I haven’t made any of them yet. I’m working at tiki from 9:00-1:30 taking money at the door. It’s my extra money gig. Haha. Someday man, someday.

            4. mav
              December 14, 2005 at 9:20 pm

              *pout*

              oh well… You know I really should come down to Tiki sometime and see you. I actually haven’t been there in ages.

    5. December 7, 2005 at 6:10 pm

      So, wait, you’re mad because a company responded to the free speech complaints of its customer base by changing its behavior? I mean, what’s so wrong with the company saying “oh wait. These shirts kind of make us look like assholes and a lot of our customers don’t respect that and won’t by our stuff. Oops.” It’s hardly gubment censorship: it’s free speech and the free market in action. If you don’t like it, go shop at Spencer’s.

      And yes, their alternate t-shirt ideas are lame.

      1. mav
        December 7, 2005 at 8:46 pm

        au contraire. I’m not mad at all. I’m just making fun of them because that is what I do.

        Actually, I have no problem whatsoever with their process. As you said, its an exercise in free speech. I totally support that. I have no problem with the A&F response. Its free enterprise. I totally support that. The problem I have with them is that I personally feel that their argument is stupid and hypocritical. I think in essence what they want is just as harmful (or unharmful, depending on your frame of reference) as the original shirts, and they’re hypocritical for thinking otherwise. But I totally support the freedom to hypocritical speech. I employ it myself quite frequently.

        That, and their alternate T-shirt ideas are lame.

    6. December 7, 2005 at 6:56 pm

      Well, “let’s cuddle by the fireplace and whisper sweet nothings about gross domestic product” just doesn’t fit on a T-Shirt.

      1. mav
        December 7, 2005 at 7:52 pm

        I don’t get it…

        1. December 7, 2005 at 7:53 pm

          that’s HOT.

          1. mav
            December 7, 2005 at 7:57 pm

            what’s hot? your slogan? I don’t get it.

    7. December 7, 2005 at 8:58 pm

      I love t-shirts that offend people.

      I have one that says “I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.”

      And “I’m not with stupid…we broke up.”

      And “I’m up here ^”

      And “Boys are funny when they try to think!”

      And “Wanna monkey around?” with a picture of a monkey. I love monkeys.

      Actually I have about 15 t-shirts with funny sayings.

      1. mav
        December 7, 2005 at 9:36 pm

        yeah, I have a bunch too. Among my favorites are:

        “Nothing says I love you LIKE SEX!”

        “I Fucked the Olsen Twins Before they were famous” (worn in my LJ icon)

        “If this T-shrit is on your floor tomorrow, we totally fucked, now go make me some breakfast bitch.”

        “Beer, the only carbs I need”

        and “I’m so black I scare myself.”

        1. December 7, 2005 at 9:38 pm

          “If this T-shrit is on your floor tomorrow, we totally fucked, now go make me some breakfast bitch.”

          THAT IS FREAKIN HILARIOUS!!! lol. I want that shirt!

          1. mav
            December 8, 2005 at 5:48 am

            I bought it here.

            I made the other shirts that I mentioned above too… they’re at http://www.cafepress.com/mav_lj if you care.

            1. December 8, 2005 at 11:35 am

              Awesome! Thanks!

              When I get money, I’m definitely buying more t-shirts!

            2. mav
              December 8, 2005 at 2:07 pm

              cool… just don’t go trying to steal my gimmick the way does.

            3. December 8, 2005 at 2:14 pm

              Lmao! How did Jesse steal your gimmick?

            4. mav
              December 8, 2005 at 2:20 pm

              He wore the same shirt I wore (Stop Midget on Midget Crime) to the IWC show in Newville.

              Bastard… 🙂

            5. December 8, 2005 at 4:23 pm

              Well it is cool to be like Mav! lol.

              At least it was a funny shirt.

            6. mav
              December 8, 2005 at 7:37 pm

              hmmm… damn… well, I certainly can’t argue against that.

            7. December 8, 2005 at 8:01 pm

              Well you could…but it would be kind of weird. lol

            8. mav
              December 8, 2005 at 8:13 pm

              not really… I was just faking egotism to stay in character. Actually, I wouldn’t want anyone to be like me… I have way too many problems. Also, if its not evident by reading this blog, I’m completely fucking nuts.

            9. December 8, 2005 at 10:09 pm

              Everyone is completely fucking nuts. lol. You’d have to be to live in this world.

            10. mav
              December 8, 2005 at 11:24 pm

              I don’t think you have to be as nuts as I am…

            11. December 9, 2005 at 12:05 pm

              That’s debatable!

    8. December 7, 2005 at 9:22 pm

      I was not aware A&F made t-shirts. The one time I passed their store and looked at said store, there was a topless male greeting customers. He had a damn fine 8-pack and beautiful pecs.

      1. mav
        December 7, 2005 at 9:38 pm

        I am appalled… appalled I say! that you would objectify men in such a manner.

        Damn, that’s a nice ass in your icon…

        1. December 7, 2005 at 9:44 pm

          I have objectified no one. I merely enjoyed A&F’s decision to objectify him. He seemed pretty happy. But I thought the whole point of him being shirtless was to advertise the fact that they don’t sell shirts there.

          1. mav
            December 8, 2005 at 5:50 am

            that’s another of my complaints. Why do people always say stuff like “Stripping is wrong because its objectifying the man/woman as a sex object.” But if I want to be objectified, shouldn’t that be my right?

            1. December 9, 2005 at 2:03 am

              Objectify away. Enjoy yourself.

            2. mav
              December 9, 2005 at 3:14 am

              well, the point is, you were supposed to objectify me.

            3. December 9, 2005 at 8:59 pm

              If your boobs were bigger, maybe I would.

    9. December 8, 2005 at 1:19 am

      stupid shirts

      Since I’m not worried about hurtful lf comments anymore, I’m going to start mine back up. I think the idea of brainy shirts is absolutely retarded and the only people that will buy them are going to be mocking these girls….or desperately in need of a fashion check.

      Maybe the other shirts were kind of degrading, but atleast they were funny.

      1. mav
        December 8, 2005 at 5:53 am

        Re: stupid shirts

        yep, that was the point. T-shirts that say “Blondes are adored, brunettes are ignored.” are not supposed to give anyone positive self-esteem. That’s the point. I hate people.

    10. December 8, 2005 at 3:14 am

      Always enjoyed seeing what witty shirt you would wear to wrestling.

      1. mav
        December 8, 2005 at 5:54 am

        thanx

    11. December 11, 2005 at 5:09 pm

      Hehe….I Have….

      I have a t-shirt from a place in Salem, Mass that says I’m a bunghole liquer! And another that says Sugars: were the girls are the sweetest and another that says Golden Banana. I love funny t-shirts too or least t-shirts I think are funny or that amuse me in a sense. A friend of mine even has that saying on a t-shirt try a new religion lick a witch. Which cracks me up every time I see her wearing it.

      1. mav
        December 11, 2005 at 5:44 pm

        Re: Hehe….I Have….

        The one I keep meaning to buy is one I saw at Target that says “Impeach Pedro” on it.

    12. Anonymous
      December 19, 2005 at 7:54 pm

      More offensive t-shirts

      http://www.tshirtcrib.com has some of the most offensive and rude t-shirts on the internet. They have one that says “It ain’t rape, if she ain’t awake” Another stating “by reading this you consent to oral sex” another saying “Will kill for oil” they have some offensive, rude, and crazy t-shirts. Check them out…

      Other T-shirts
      “Slept my way to the top”
      “Child Support, Keeping baby momma’s off welfare”
      “US Soldiers, Cheaper than fossil fuels”
      “Freshman Girls: Get them while they’re skinny”
      “Sex With me Priceless” (Mastercard spoof)
      “Enjoy Cock” (Coca Cola Spoof)
      And so many other t-shirts that are nuts

      1. mav
        December 19, 2005 at 8:40 pm

        Re: More offensive t-shirts

        The thing is, I don’t care about getting shirts just because they’re offensive. I mean, if someone wants to buy offensive shirts more power to them. I don’t think they should be banned. I like T-shirts that are also funny. The ones at Tshirtcrib just weren’t all that. Also, the general designs of the logos just wasn’t all that impressive. Most of them were just a slogan written across the front of a shirt. I can do that easily myself. As I did with the Tits/Brains and beat me up T-shirts that I linked to.

        I’m actually not that into wearing T-shirts, believe it or not. At least not ones with logos on them. So in order to get me into one, it needs to be really funny and eye catching. Not just rude. Tshirthell.com is much better.

        1. Anonymous
          January 7, 2006 at 9:57 pm

          Re: More offensive t-shirts

          Agreed. Offensive without it being funny is just crude. For some fresh funny check out http://www.tasteetees.com

    13. December 20, 2005 at 11:56 pm

      The girl is to his right, our left.
      People are stupid.
      There is nothing like being timely and relevant.

      1. mav
        December 21, 2005 at 12:22 am

        you know, I noticed the girl was to his right about 5 minutes after I originally posted this. Just figured no one else would. And for the longest time, I guess I was right.

    14. Anonymous
      January 7, 2006 at 10:06 pm

      Offensive T-Shirts

      Anything on a shirt goes (if you are over 15) – not sure 10 year old girls should be wearing saying across their ass or chest – but that’s just my thoughts. I don’t think offensive just to be crude is cool – it should at least be funny. One of my favorite sites which features funny and offensive stuff if http://www.tasteetees.com

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