So while walking through downtown Pittsburgh on the way to Subway for lunch with coworkers, I passed by one of those ultra-religious, wacko, nutjobs preaching about the end of the world that you’re always hearing about. Listening for a moment it became clear that this guy was talking about the world ending TOMORROW. Ah yes, it’s the end of the year you see.
So my coworker, Lou, and I both stopped to take the guys picture with our phones. (Lou’s pic accompanies this entry because his camera phone is better than the shitty camera in in my phone). Noticing us point our phones at him from across the street, the man then began to shout in our general direction “Do you think I’m kidding? I’m serious! The end is near!”
I turned and looked at Lou then said, “umm, no dude… We’re pretty sure you’re serious.”
Now here are the obvious questions:
- Why is the an end of the world guy holding what appears to be an anti-abortion sign?
- Wouldn’t god kill us all on a cool sounding year? Like 2000? I mean 2006? What the fuck?
- If you’re certain the world is ending tomorrow, why are you wasting your time yelling at us non-believers on a corner in Pittsburgh?
That last one really gets me. If you were certain the world was ending tomorrow. I mean, if you knew it absolutely for sure, would you really spend your last 36 hours on the planet trying to convince other people? I mean, really, you know the world ends tomorrow, you tell me. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that information. I was having a perfectly ok day up til now. Now the world is maybe ending tomorrow, and I don’t know whether I should hope its not and just continue doing my mediocre run of the mill office job, or should I be stripping naked, snorting coke and fucking anything that moves?
I mean really, even if you’re not like totally insane like I am, I gotta believe that there are better ways to spend your last day on the planet. I mean, maybe you’re religious, maybe you really do want to make your peace with god, so you go to the local chapel and pray for 24 straight hours. Maybe you’re a pig like me and you go out looking for the greatest orgy that ever was. Maybe you’re a drunk and you go out and party like its 1999. Maybe you do all three. But why would you waste any of that time standing on a street corner telling the rest of us assholes who couldn’t care less?
Does anyone have any understanding into how these people think? What would you do if you were sure the world was really ending tomorrow?
Maybe it’s only the end of the world for the fetus who was aborted today?
I don’t know what I would do if I thought it really was the end of the world. Probably get a massage, find some illegal drugs, and have a ton of hot oiled, unprotected sex with Jeff. I mean, hey, end of the world, no consequences, to hell with birth control and that whole keeping your brain healthy thing. And I would totally do it in some stupid expensive outfit.
But hey, if you see him again, you should totally be like “Wow, really? Oh my god! Can I help you? Do you have a sign for me? Here, let me hold that for you. Hey Everyone! It’s the end of the world!” And get your friend to take pictures of the crazy guy.
see…. that’s a good way to spend your last day in reality. that makes sense.
But when would I see the guy again? The world is ending today you see. He said so.
If I knew the world was going to end tomorrow, I would going on a killing spree. Nothing like ruining it for the rest of you!
see, that just seems silly. If the world is ending tomorrow, why waste time killing us. We’ll be dead a few hours later anyway. Wouldn’t it be better to do other stuff that you want to accomplish? Sky diving? Sex with movie stars? Whatever?
all that stuff takes money i don’t have, and time I’m running out of. In a realistic situation, my options are very few. The good news is that I take much glee in the slaughter of hapless innocents. To each their own.
nah, you’re not thinking it through all they way. If its the end of the world and you’re ready to indiscriminately kill innocent people, then you can rape a movie star or two… or hijack a plane and jump out of it… just saying is all. But really, whatever floats your boat. If ultra-mega-mass homicide is it, go for it.
Oh yeah, and Happy new year to you!
thanx, you too…
Well, I’m not sure about this guy, but a “True Christian” who believed the world was ending should be out there trying to save some more souls, getting a few more people to repent just under the wire. I’d expect a “Repent” sign though…
hmmm… I don’t remember them talking about a point system in sunday school…
But you didn’t attend a crazy-end-times-wacko cult (er, denomination), so you might not have been let end on the points system.
interesting… I guess that’s certainly possible.