Now see, that’s what I get for saying I don’t really have anything to write about…
So after work, I picked beststephi up and took her to get her van out of the shop. I was following her home (she was 2 cars in front of me) when I had to stop for a pedestrian crossing the street. I actually really hate when they do that. There was no stop sign or light, but they just dart out. Being the fine upstanding gentleman that I am, however, I decided not to just run the person down. Anyway, right across the street from me, in front of a barbershop two guys were arguing when one of them pulls out a gun and shoots the other one three times. He looks around a couple times, I guess to make sure that no one was looking. I’d say that there were maybe a dozen people on the streets and in cars who were and saw everything. It then dawns on the guy that maybe shooting another guy on a crowded street at the tail end of rush hour was probably not the best idea. I’ve never shot anyone before, but I imagine that seeing at least 6 people on cell phones (myself included) dialing 911 and then standing there looking at all of us while the other guy is bleeding out next to you, and while you’re holding a smoking gun in your hand is probably a bad idea. So he decides to run. Right past me and down the alley on the other side of the street.
911 has me on hold for a bit, because you know, answering the phone promptly isn’t a concern of theirs. Its not like anyone would call them in the middle of an attempted homicide, right? So when they answer the phone a minute later, a cop is already driving by just by circumstance, so I tell them never mind and hang up and go to give my statement.
It takes maybe 15-20 minutes before the cops are ready to deal with me because they (4 cars by then, plus an ambulance) are too busy trying to shoo away (and sometimes threaten away — “Hey, just give me a reason, buddy. Come on and give me a reason” — I hate America) the crowd of 50 screaming black people who all of whom seemed to be related to the guy who just got shot. I’m honestly not sure why the cops decided that I was the one witness worth talking to, and not just another concerned relative. Maybe they sensed my innate chinamaness, or maybe it was just the fact that I was the only one waiting calmy to talk to them and not screaming that my brother/cousin/friend just got shot and go get that mother fucker.
They finally get around to talking to me and I can basically tell them what the guy was wearing and which way he was heading, all of which you’d think he’d have the sense to change seeing as how he shot a guy 20 minutes ago, and he knows there are a dozen witnesses, including the guy he shot, who was pretty clearly not dead, and pretty clearly knew who he was. But hey, the cops were really interested in the guys fashion sense, and what am I if not a fine upstanding citizen, right?
So anyway, I gave the statement and my contact info and such. And came home. I will say that I was happy with the cops actually putting in my description of how tall, old and big the guy was, as well as what he was wearing on the APB I heard them call out instead of just going with the good old “suspicious looking black male” that I remember so fondly from my youth. Gives one a hope for the future. But what’s really bugging me now is: WHERE WAS THE FUCKING MEDIA!?! I’m apparently the single dependable material witness to a shooting that took place 15 feet from me, and not one reporter is there to interview me? Not one camera. Nothing!
What’s the point of me being a media whore if no one is going to cover me. *sigh*
That is some scary shit.
But you should know by now, the media is not interested in educated, well spoken Chinamen. They can find those anywhere.
But how did they know? Am I that obviously chinese? Couldn’t they have assumed I was an uneducated Korean grocer or something?
Couldn’t they have assumed I was an uneducated Korean grocer or something?
There is a move towards cultural sensitity these days. It would be impolite to assume.
wait… does that mean that they will soon stop assuming that I, like all chinamen, know kung fu? Because that belief is the biggest thing keeping me safe on the crime ridden streets of your western world.
You mean you don’t?
of course I do… but I don’t want to have to go all bruce lee on everyone who I pass on a daily basis.
speakng of Bruce Lee, there’s a radio show in Boston that is celebrating “something green” every day for the month of March. Yesterday’s was “The Green Hornet. Who wasn’t all that cool, but his sidekick was played by Bruce Lee. Ooooooh Yeeeeah.”
oh yeah, totally… Kato rocked!
That’s crazy!
you know, as weird as it is thinking about right now. At the time, it seemed pretty normal and matter of fact. “Oh look, that guy over there is shooting that other guy. That’s something.”
The media will only interview the biggest redneck/ghetto person they can find. You’re obviously too intelligent/good looking/charismatic for them.
PS. I’m one of those people who dart out in front of cars…but only up at IUP because the bastards won’t let you cross.
I can be ghetto, dammit! All I ask for is the chance. I think its wrong for them to be prejudiced and assume I’m culthred and sophisticated just because I am so good looking. Us sexy people are always discriminated against.
lol That is the only way to get on the news, my friend. Look like shit, talk like shit, and act stupid, and the news media will SEEK you out of a crowd.
Yes, we are. lol
dammit… next time I witness an attempted homicide, I hope its in my wrestling gear instead of my work clothes. If I had one of my pimp hats on, they totally would have wanted to talk to me.
I’d be willing to bet that if you were wearing all of your gear, they would have interviewed you. Next time you watch the news, pay attention to who they’re interviewing. It’s interesting.
But it might suck if you had to go to trial.
Oh, I’ve totally noticed before. That’s why I became a chinaman in the first place.
You think it’d suck? Ummm… aren’t you studying criminology? I’d think you’d find it interesting.
I’d think it was interesting. But I realize that all of the legal BS can be boring as hell for most normal people! lol
Do you really consider me normal, luv?
As normal as anyone else.
you’re sweet… but delusional…
Well yes to both…which explains why I’m dating Benny! Just kidding!! lol
If you think about it, no one is “normal”…there are just different levels of how normal you can be. And since you’re not raping little boys or becoming a serial killer anytime soon, I’d have to say you’re pretty normal. lol
wow… reaching for the stars with your expectations there, huh?
lol People always tell me my expectations are way too high.
– does not molest young boys. Check!
– has not killed more than three people. Check!
Yeah, that’s a lot to ask for there.
lol. I didn’t say I thought my expectations were too high. I said other people thought that. I think my expectations are too low! lol
Thanx… now I’m seriously starting to question you calling me intelligent/good looking/charismatic.
You mean you don’t wear your wrestling gear under your work clothes? What if you have to spring into action like Superman?
actually, half the time in wrestling I do basically wear my work clothes. Its called living the gimmick. So when I had to leap into action here, I was totally comfortable.
Okay. But you ducked into a phone booth anyway, right?
nope… dammit… maybe that was my mistake
It’s rough being a crime-fighting superhero in these days of cellphones.
no phone booth… synthetic kryptonite… the world has changed, I tell you…
Holy flying dog dookie!
yeah… you’d totally think I’d at the very least get a brief sound byte or something, right?
Woah! Glad you’re OK! Yikes…
yeah, I’m fine. It was certainly something, though.
This little clip has some pointers for what you should look like/say to get interviewed.
hahaha… “it could be a crackhead…”
I wonder if one can catch a crackhead with the leprechaun flute…
So, where did this happen? I’m trying to find even the most cursory mention in the paper…
Brownsville Road, in front of the Barbershop. The block before the post office, but across the street. As I told Steph, I’m not really expecting much to be in the paper. Maybe I’m cynical, but it was black on black crime in a predominantly black neighborhood and no one died. I don’t think they consider that newsworthy.
Whoa! How horrible! Good for you, for keeping such a clear head through all that. That is really commendable.
Well, I figured someone should… everyone was either screaming and hysterical because they knew the guy, or just kinda looking, calling 911 and driving away if they didn’t. I was the only calm person hanging around to give a statement. Also I really was like 10 yards away, and when the shooter was running away, he was right outside my truck, so I figured I might as well do the right thing.