So there’s been a couple stories in the news lately about the website, DontDateHimGirl.com. Basically if you’re a chick and you have a bad experience with a guy, or maybe you don’t but you just want to ruin his life, you go there and you post about him and warn all other women that he’s an ass. It’s a public service, errr… I guess. It’s managed to garner a small bit of controversy and notoriety.
And it’s totally a rip off.
See, about four years back there was a website called IHadHer.com. At least, I think that’s what it was called, I sadly can’t find any current references to it. I guess it’s possible I am misremembering the name after all these years. But basically it was a website where guys posted pictures of girls they’ve taken out, along with reviews of how cool or annoying they were, how hard it was to get them into bed, and how good they were once they were in bed, and so on. It was almost universally panned as sexist, misogynistic and libelous. The owners of the site went on to say that the whole thing was satirical and not to be taken seriously, though it was clear that 1) a lot of the posters considered it to be real. 2) It was real, the owners were full of shit and only started saying that when they were worried about getting sued and turned into pussies.
In any case, I was thinking about this and I consider it a double standard that the new site is being taken seriously where the old site was considered misogynistic. The old site was better anyway, because it wasn’t just warnings to not date a girl, it was also recommendations about which girls you should date. Albeit, with a bit of a sexist spin.
So I’m wondering is this a good idea? Is it evil? Can it even work or would the abusers of the system just warrant the whole thing suspect. Do you think the newer site (dontdatehimgirl.com) is more appropriate than the older one (ihadher.com) or vice versa. What about gay people? Both sites seem to exclude them. Should there maybe be a site that rates the datability and sexual prowess of both genders and all sexual preferences? Or is the whole thing just deplorable.
I want to do my part. So if all women would just line up outside my front door this weekend you can all give me a blowjob one by one and I will post ratings in this space for all to see. No need to thank me, I like to do my part to give back.
So, user reviews, in general, are a good idea. Sites like ePinions.com offer a much needed perspective. Though, all anectdoal evidence about anything is suspect because it lacks aggregation. The more reliable car with the best dealer service statistically, will still have many individual users out there with very bad experiences with it. That’s just the nature of things. When it comes to highly emotional relationships where, with few expections, it’s impossible to get a statistically valid sample, the whole site is bullshit, and probably fits the legal definition of slanderous in most cases. On a perosnal level, for example, most of my exes will describe me as a good guy, the one who won’t is, unfortunately, bat-shit insane.
heh. Is that supposed to be proof that group reviews are a good idea or a bad idea?
See, that’s why its so much better to rate people based on how easy they are to get into bed and how good a lay they are once you do. Its so much more objective.
you know how, when you’re just starting to get into a relationship, and there’s that one friend who keeps saying “does he/she make enough money? are they good enough for you? what do you mean he/she didn’t try to kiss you on the first date? All my dates do… he/she’s clearly not for you.” and then there’s that other friend who says “same color shirt?! meant to be!” and the third friend saying “dude, don’t listen to what other people think. A relationship makes its own way.”
I generally listen to that third friend (who is actually usually me). That said, the whole idea of listening to the opinions of people I’ve never met via the internet seems an even worse way to learn about someone you know than listening to the opinions of people whose background and interest in the subject you know.
…I think that made sense. Granted, it’s my first Friday of my first full week of work, so feel free to ask for clarity.
sure… expound upon it. I always like hearing what you have to say.
For instance, yes, you might not have a specific need for a site like this, but do you think its a good or bad idea? I think that if you’re gonna do it, you should accept positive ratings too, like ihadher.com used to. Like every product review site ever does. That said, I don’t know that I’d ever need such a thing. For better or worse, I’m totally capable of figuring out who I want to date/fuck on my own without input from friends or strangers.
Still, I think its an interesting idea.
I don’t mean I don’t have a specific need because I don’t listen to that kind of crap. I mean the site is a bad idea because some people feel this need to listen to that kind of crap, regardless if it’s good or bad. And those people will be getting enough issues from the ideas their friends put into their heads without getting more ideas from faceless names on the web.
interesting theory. But on the other hand is it really any worse than just listening to their friends anyway? I mean, its not like people are actually productized, so for the most part, you’re not going to learn much about a person that you wouldn’t be able to get through talking to your friends anyway. I dunno, it probably can’t actually be useful in any case, but I do think its interesting.
For the truly inane, no there probably is no different between their friends’ comments and the website’s.
But I think there are also people dependent on opinions, but who do know which of their friends are biased in which ways, and can therefore take friends’ opinions with a grain (or spoonful, as the case may be) of salt.
That said, if I didn’t have to register I’d totally go check out all my male friends to see if there was any “dirt” on them, be it true or otherwise. Registering causes that moment of “oh, I have to work to see this?” so I haven’t done it yet.
I just looked at this. You don’t have to register to search, only to post.
The way some of the posts are written cast a lot of suspicion on the writers. A few look like sour grapes revenge posts, a few look legit, and a couple I saw could easily have been disappointed stalkers.
I can easily see someone sueing over this, and I hope they win. A lot of it is pretty libelous. This site has been in the news before but I haven’t taken a look at it until now.
It isn’t on par with someone presenting evidence of a wrongdoing like on
http://www.evanwashere.com/StolenSidekick/ “>this (unrelated) site, it’s mainly a vechile for legitimization of rumors (kinda like Wikipedia).
Oh, I see now.
Huh, neither of you are on there!
How disapointing.
O:-)
well, see… that’s my biggest complaint. The site is only for bad boyfriends. There needs to be a site for charming, intelligent, sophisticated hunks who give women multiple orgasms every time, so that people have somewhere to post about us.
I think it could be part of the same site – it’s called dontdatehimgirl.com, so there could be a section entitled “because he’s mine.”
you’re so selfish… if you were a good person you’d want to share the charming, intelligent, sophisticated, multiple orgasm giving hunks with the world.
Charming, intelligent, sophisticated, multiple orgasm giving hunks shouldn’t be wandering the world with no one to serve, as so many are.
I’m not selfish, I’m like the Mother Theresa for the male gender. I’m saving them from the evils of some women.
in order to save the village we had to burn it down?
Fight fire with fire.
I’m not selfish, I’m like the Mother Theresa for the male gender. I’m saving them from the evils of some women.
“Them?”
Are we going to have a polyamory talk?
That depends. Do we need to have a talk about the meaning of the word “theoretical”?
So Marli, theoretically, if Meron and I have a thing on the side… are you ok with that….
ummmm…. theoretically
quiet you!!! if she wants to save me, leave her alone…
Should I be blushing?
well, how sure are you that she’s talking about you?
I think that depends on whether or not it would be impact your charm.
I mean, if it had negative impact on charm I could end up writing “Meron is hot shit, but blushes wayyyy too easily.”
On the other hand, if it’s a sophisticated blush, the post could end up far more flattering.
There needs to be a site for charming, intelligent, sophisticated hunks who give women multiple orgasms every time
You mean like Match.com?
not the same thing. match.com is for meeting people, not getting testimonials.reviews on people you have met. Its more like friendster or myspace or something.
Somehow I think you would be more disapointed if either of us were on there.
nah, she likes bad boys… the only reason she’s stayed with you this long is that I told her I saw you kill a bum on craig street.
I thought we were never to speak of that again.
Besides, dude was asking for it.
why are you bitching? it got you a girlfriend, didn’t it?
That all depends on if I recognized the name of the person posting.
I’m torn on the whole lawsuit thing. On one hand, it is libelous, on the other hand, I think a lot of people sue for stupid reasons and it makes me disappointed in the whole justice system. I mean, on one hand a woman posts “I dated Meron for two years and he gave me the clap. He fucks crack whores and shares his heroin needles with bums on the streets of manhattan.” That’s probably pretty libelous and I can see how you might want to claim defamation of character. On the other hand, if a woman posts “I dated Meron for two years and he was an ass and lousy in bed,” I think you shouldn’t be able to sue. Those two examples are obviously on separated ends of the spectrum, but where is the line?
What if the real story was “I wanted to date Chris but he turned me down” and the story that was posted was one of the two you put up? Or “I stalked Mav and he told me to fuck off” or “Mav broke up with me and I didn’t agree so when he started dating Steph I considered it cheating” and then your picture showed up on there?
oh totally. But even if that’s what happened, I’d still say I wouldn’t have much of a case if they posted the second thing. People suck. So they’ll talk. Nothing new. The internet just makes it easier to talk louder.
plus, so long as you aren’t registered, you won’t be tempted to POST dirt about us.
I had to follow the link to that site, and I must say…
People take that seriously?!
No offense to my gender (or the opposite), but if you get your dating advice (or fucking advice) from a website, then you’re freakin stupid.
Hell, right now I’m not even listening to my friends and family on who I should/shouldn’t be dating, so why would I listen to a website. It’s just…odd…and creepy.
If you felt like creating that site, I wouldn’t care (though I don’t speak for the female gender as a whole). Personally, I wouldn’t even care if a site said I was the best/worst/easiest/hardest fuck around. Most guys will make that assumption by just looking at me anyways.
So I say, go for it!
not only do people take it seriously, at least one guy is suing over it.
Guys make the assumption that you are the best worst easy hard fuck around? I’m not sure what that even means.
Ummm, you understand that if I am to do the website you and all other women need to blow me?
I’m too lazy to login…
You can make the website. I didn’t say you could evaluate every female on the planet. lol.
I can believe that someone is suing over it, considering what lawsuits I’ve seen recently.
I know… *I* said I’d have to evaluate every female on the planet. I’m sure as hell not going to go through the trouble of maintaining the website without collecting on the perks.
After I saw a story about it on the news, I was curious and spent some time looking through DontDateHimGirl.com. Of course you can’t trust 100% of what it says with anonymous postings. But I can see some usefulness to this site. For example, say you’re starting to date someone and have some uneasy feelings about him, and decide to see if he’s on this site and find some information that jives with your intuition. This might be the impetus for you to break up with this person. Chances are, regardless of the accuracy of this info, this person wasn’t right for you anyway.
On the other hand, from how you described the other version of this site, it’s just completely piggish and useless.
1) I think you are assuming too much altruism on the part of the women who post there. As Meron stated, there’s no fact checking involved, so it is just as likely that someone posted something on the site out of spite after a messy breakup than anything else. In fact, they don’t even have any way of background checking the poster. Say you’re dating someone and a male friend who wants to date you wants you to break up with them so he has a shot. He could just as easily post some lies about the new boyfriend as anyone else.
2) Piggish maybe, useless no. You can’t equate the two. You consider it useless because, well, you aren’t very piggish. But if I am looking for an easy lay, then that site could be very useful. I could just as easily say that Dontdatehimgirl.com is vindictive and useless. Moreover, Ihadher.com had all the same info as Dontdatehimgirl. There were tons of posts that amounted to “this bitch will cheat on you” or “that skank has the clap” just like the ones on the other site that say “that asshole will cheat on you” or “that jerk has herpes.” It just also had other information. Really, there was nothing stopping a guy from posting “Steph was one of the nicest girls I ever dated, things didn’t work out with us, but you should totally give her a shot. She’s nice and sweet and a wildcat in the sack.” Dontdatehimgirl has no provisions for that. Its only purpose is to spew venom.
I want to do my part. So if all women would just line up outside my front door this weekend you can all give me a blowjob one by one and I will post ratings in this space for all to see. No need to thank me, I like to do my part to give back.
Ah, the life of a public servant is not an easy one, but sometimes an individual must make sacrifices in order to benefit the greater good. You, Chris Maverick, are such a man.
For duty and humanity!
well, I am a man of the people…