Day 102 of 365 days.
Sometimes during this project one of those days comes along where I just really want to show a mundane part of my life. This is about as mundane as it gets. I got a call from a customer service telemarketer type. You know the ones, "Hello Mr. Maverick, we’d like to talk to you about your Chase Visa account. Have you ever consiedered joining our easy rewards program? Blah Blah Blah." Actually, today, the call was for Steph, but she refuses to answer the phone whenever the Caller ID shows its an 800/888 number calling us. Me, I like to answer them, because I found a way to make them fun.
So today, I thought I’d share a little secret. The surefire way I came up with a couple years ago to get rid of those callers. When they call answer the phone calmly. Let them just begin their little schpiel. And then maybe a sentence or two into it just calmly say, "I’m sorry, but can you please call us back sometime when we aren’t having sex?" Usually they’ll get flustered, apologize rapidly and hang up on you. If they persist just describe a few details about what you’re doing. The nastier the better. Tell them you really have to hurry up so that you can finish before your wife gets home. Tell them that you’re fucking her sister and her cousin and you don’t want her to find out so you really have to go now. Make sure you use words like "fuck" and "cum" and give as graphic a description as possible. Maybe tell them it’s a big orgy, and you’re filming it and people are going to cum soon and you don’t want to screw up the money shot. Trust me, they’ll let you go in no time.
I have a friend who does something similar, without the sex. He does a very good querulous-old-guy imitation, and when they ask "How are you today, Mr [ ]?", he’ll say, in a heavy accent, "Not so good. I just had my back operated on", and then go into tedious detail. If they interrupt him he’ll just keep going; if they change the subject he’ll bring up his oozing infection. Etc.
I lol’d.
OMG! ROFLMAO!!! You’ve just turned a mundane photo into a bit of hilarity 😉 I’ve pulled the old, my dog just died bit…but then i decided that was mean…i like yours so much better!!!
Oh man, that’s cool. You’re funny
Ha, ha! That’s a fun way to get rid of the pesky tele-marketers. 🙂
See, if I was a telemarketer and called you, I would totally stay on the line so you would keep describing things to me.
But I’m a bit perverted like that. 😉
thanks all. I hope you all can benefit from my wisdom.
@Sarah: That hasn’t happened yet. Hopefully some day it will, and things will get really interesting.
Havent´thought of that.
Nice tip, 😀
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Seen on the Web. (?)
BAH HA HA HA HA!
That is the funniest thing ever.
We like to do it with cab drivers. Me and a group of my friends will pile into a cab and start having a raunchy discussion about figging, or something equally odd. Eventually, we involve the driver.
We even got one to admit to masturbating while staring at his own ass. It was wrong.
Well this is even more hilarious for me since I worked at one of those places on weekends. Here i was a decent 16 year old boy calling someone about finance and they’re having sex with the wifey’s sister and not sparing the details at all. What an experience I called all my friends over to the phone and had quite a laugh
Hi, I’m an admin for a group called Consumerist.com, and we’d love to have your photo added to the group. Bear in mind that doing so releases the photo for use on Consumerist.com, read our About to learn more.
@The Consumerist: added. will there be anyway for me to know when/if you have used it?
Blogged.