on Catholic School Girl Goodness…

Side Note:First of all, I’d like to thank my Flickr friend, the lovely and talented, Katy Hutch for agreeing to use her 365 Days pic for today to dress up in a Catholic school girl uniform so I could use the picture for this post. See, I like I said my 365mav project may have been the best idea I’ve ever had.

So I’ve stated in the past that I have a thing for Catholic School girl uniforms. But I never before really gave any thought to why. But in discussing the concept with a couple of friends of mine from my 365 Days group I started thinking about why that is. I think I’ve finally figured it out.

You see, I’m a guy.

Now, I’m not Catholic. As many of you know, I am a life long, devout HOVA’s Witness. It’s quite obvious why I might spend say 6 or 7 hours just staring blankly at that picture of Katy over there. For Jigga so loved the world that he gaveth us ten commandments. And the VI^th is that “Thou shalt clock da’ hos.” So really, my enjoyment of the the uniform is ordained by my god(MC).

But now, thinking about it, I think that your appreciation of the outfit might be ordained by that invisible man in the sky that you all worship as well. Isn’t it Isaiah.47:1-4 that says:

¹ Come down, and sit in the dust, O virgin daughter of Babylon, sit on the ground: there is no throne, O daughter of the Chaldeans: for thou shalt no more be called tender and delicate.
² Take the millstones, and grind meal: uncover thy locks, make bare the leg, uncover the thigh, pass over the rivers.
³ Thy nakedness shall be uncovered, yea, thy shame shall be seen: I will take vengeance, and I will not meet thee as a man.
⁴ As for our redeemer, the LORD of hosts is his name, the Holy One of Israel.

Don’t think too hard about it. Really, thinking too hard about the bible will only make your head hurt. It’s bad for you. But suffice it to say, God is saying that there is nothing so feminine as being half naked and sexy and in doing so, you’ll be redeemed. Really, ladies. It’s in the bible, it must be true.

Ok, as for those of you who don’t believe in HOVA or Jehovah, I guess we’ll have to find some psychological reason. It turns out that the school girl uniform is one of the most common fetishes on the planet. At least according to wikipedia, which we’ve previously established “is always right.” They point out that the fetish isn’t just catholic schoolgirl uniforms but schoolgirl uniforms in general. After all, the classic uniform is worn in most british schools (not just catholic ones) and there’s a whole subset of the fetish devoted to the japanese schoolgirl look. So even though I’ll grant that there’s something deliciously naughty about the idea of fornicating with someone adorned in age old religious symbology, I really think that the base sexiness of the outfit itself goes beyond sacrilege.

So looking at the outfit, what do we have:

1) obviously the short skirt. I think this is intentionally feminine and sexy on the part of the catholics. As I detailed in the bible quote above, Christianity really seems to favor making women feminine. Maybe to put them in their place. But at the end of the day, its a short skirt, pleated to rise up at (in)opportune moments that shows a whole lot of leg.

2) the knee-high socks. Stockings are innately sexier than pantyhose. Mostly because you don’t have to remove them to get down to business. But also, because they just call attention to the legs. Bare legs are sexy. Knee highs are like wearing a sign that says “hey you, look at my legs.”

3) the low cut/open blouse. Ok, this one isn’t part of the real outfit. Real school girls wear ties, but since they hate ties, they often loosen them and unbutton their tops just a little, because hey! Boobies! And in fetish land, many girls just go with this look to start with, because hey! Boobies! And if there is a hint of lacy bra underneath, then hey! double fetish!

4) the tight blouse. I didn’t think of this one myself. I was trying to come up with details of the uniform and the lovely and delightful, 4_1_reason_only pointed it out to me. But I thought about it for a while, and I think its subtle, but a good one. Obviously, being white, its kind of see through, but also the tightness of it not only shows off assets but squeezes and lifts them in a quite pleasing way. And on yeah, hey! Boobies!

5) the bare midriff. Again, not an official part of the outfit, but pretty common both among real school girls and the sexified fetish version. There are ass-men, leg-men and breast-men. And obviously the rest of the uniform addresses them. But I have long identified as a tummy-man, and that’s quite covered.

6) the innocence. I guess this again goes in to the cultural appeal, both religious and otherwise, but there’s nothing quite so sexy as defiling something pure. Call it a power game. Call it infantilism. Call it sick. But when we see purity, we want to corrupt it. And the outfit, especially with its childlike accessorizing (mary janes, pigtails, lollipops) just screams purity.

So in the end, I think its totally natural for any guy to look at a girl dressed like that and want to bang the ever-living bejeebus out of them. And if I understand Catholicism, I’m pretty sure it was designed that way. I mean, they teach female subservience and no birth-control. And they believe in a loving God. Is it so far a leap to think that God so loved the world that he commandth the hos to walk the earth in outfits more easily clocked?

I know HOVA does.

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On a related note. I have been giving serious consideration to making the next Maverick Jam a “Catholic School Jam” or alternatively a “Vicars and Tarts Jam” (titles pending, better ideas). Either one would be inspired by the Catholic School Girl outfit, and of course the standard Jam costume contest would be in effect. This might take place as early as February. Pending me finding a new job and having disposable income. And my wrestling schedule and the like. Any thoughts?