Day 482 of 365 More.
Oddly, It turns out that it is exactly 34 weeks til my 34th birthday. I think that probably explains my recent midlife crisises that I’ve been experiencing. I need to find a way to shake out of it. Sure, I could go celebrate turning 34 by living every man’s fantasy and fucking someone half my age, but I’ve always said that was more a life goal for my 36th birthday. So that’s totally not going to work (also, Mena Suvari isn’t really as young as she was in that movie… she’s actually close to my age… *sigh* why must all my dreams be ruined?)
Anyway, thinking about growing older and what I’ve made of my life and feeling like I haven’t accomplished enough. I haven’t really made my mark on the world. How will I do that. What will I do to have people remember me.
Then it dawned on me. Today, December 6th, 2007, I, Christopher Maverick, vow that on August 1st, 2008, the very day I turn 34… I am going to destroy the Sun!
"Since the dawn of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun." And I will be the man who accomplishes it.
Destroying the Sun! I should have thought of this years ago. It’s gonna be vainglorious!!!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Completely unrelated to the photo: I read your blog post about age differences, and though I’m an "innocent woman," I totally agree with you about the age difference. As long as the couple has something in common, screw silly mathematical solutions to an appropriate age difference. I’m 19 and dating someone 31, and we have more in common than I have with the piggish football players in the scuzzy frat houses I’m supposed to lust after.
Good luck with your plan.
Upright Citizens Brigade’s "Blow up the Moon" sketch?
Plunge us all into darkness why dontcha! Gonna have to get the gardening done early.
Better to wait till 36 therefore she is legal in all states.
As for destroying the sun, be sure to give a brotha some heads up before you do. Gotta get my spaceship prepped.
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Seen in my contacts’ photos. (?)
@gotplaid?: Thanks for weighing in on that. I have another rant coming up soon about the proper ages of consent for stuff. So you should check my blog out regularly. As for the plan…. It’s already under way. It’s going to be great. Just wait and see.
@Jack Scoresby: never saw it. Got my idea from Mr. Burns on the SImpsons.
@DeHoll: ummm, yes, plunging the world into darkness would be one of the planned outcomes of the sun destruction.
@Mikey aka DaSkinnyBlackMan: I am giving you a heads up. August 1st, 2008. You have 34 weeks (well now 34 weeks minus one day) what more do you want?
Best of luck with your master-plan. Any thoughts as to a follow-up?
(But how do you intend to test the device?)
@Kaptain Kobold: Testing… Hmm… France?
Holy shit. I’m 34.
Am I due for a mid-life crisis?
Am I IN a mid-life crisis?
– Balding? (check)
– Hangs with women nearly half my age (check)
– Jeans and sneakers more than slacks and tailored shirts (check)
– New sports car (check)
Shit.
At least I didn’t buy a convertible.
: I waited until I was 43 before having my mid-life crisis. It was a lot of fun. But I didn’t buy a car 🙂
@Carleton!: hey, if the convertible makes you happy, go for it.
@Kaptain Kobold: I think I’ve had a mid life crisis every year since I was like 12.
Ahem i’m 38 in 12 days….did the mid-life cry-sis pass me by?
BTW good luck with the sun.
@wisebudda: it’s never too late to start. And yeah, the death ray is coming along well.
you are so brilliant, it hurts
@Crystal Chroma: hah. Thanks.
Belated Happy Birthday.
But your Death Ray failed, I see 🙂
@Kaptain Kobold: oh, it worked just fine.. But thank you.