4-7-08
Originally uploaded by chrismaverick.
So, due to some accounting errors in the way taxes were deducted from my paycheck, I owed the city of Pittsburgh some money this year. Not a whole lot of money, but about $400. So seeing as how I’d rather the $400 be in my bank account than the Man‘s, I waited til the last minute to pay them.
So on my lunch break, I walked over to the post office to mail in my return and the check. On my way out of the post office I was stopped by an elderly woman who was protesting tax law,
Woman: Excuse me! Would you like to know how the government spends your tax dollars?
Me: Ummm, no… I most certainly do not.
I wish I had a camera on me for that one. I was in a rush, so I left my camera bag in my office. That’ll teach me. I guess I could have used my iPhone. Oh well.
I hope I wasn’t too rude. I mean, I gotta figure when you’re protesting you get blown off by people a lot meaner than me. Really though, I’m depressed enough as it is. I really don’t need to hear about how my $400 bucks (actually a lot more than that, when you take into account all the taxes that WERE taken out last year) is going to support some cause I probably don’t believe in.
All the more reason for you people to elect me ruler. Under my administration your relatively meager yearly taxes will go to good roads, clean air, universal healthcare and a chambermaid in every home. And for all you negro families out there, who are still waiting for the reparations promised your ancestry. I’m there for you. Forty acres and a mule, baby!
“But Emperor Mav! Despite horrible atrocities of the past, we have not enough land to furnish every black family with 40 acres!”
I hear you, and I understand. And like everything else, my cabinet has a plan to help you out. I’m not quite ready to talk about the details, but let me just leave you with this teaser:
When I went to my district caucus as a delegate (for Obama) the last phase was that we got to listen to lots and lots of 30-second speeches by folks wanting to be elected as delegates to the state convention (and hopefully on to the national from there).
My favorite speech? An older black woman who said: “I’ll keep this short and sweet. I want my 40 acres and my mule!”
I totally voted for her.
p.s. was Stranger Than Fiction the movie where the main love interest girl only pays part of her taxes because she only wants to pay for stuff like roads and schools but not for bombs and corporate bailouts? You just reminded me of that. I love that film.
p.p.s. You know you already have my vote. In your administration will there be “pressroom babes” much like the booth babes for comicon? Cuz that would rock.
Pressroom babes are like the best idea I have heard in ages.,
So on my lunch break, I walked over to the post office to mail in my return and the check.
I was totally going to ask if you were walking to the Mt.O post office, but then I realized you probably meant the PO near where you work. I can’t help but wonder if anyone was protesting in Mt.O though…
Ha! People in Mt.O are too busy sitting on their stoops and shouting across the street to protest. The Liberty Tax Poor Schlub-In-A-Costume was wearing red and white striped pants though. Because taxes are patriotic.
I went to go get a picture of him after work, but he was already gone. 🙁
Poor thing, you must get out of work late. When I was walking home at 6:30 he was still there.
well, we went to dinner at work. It was around maybe 8 when I drove over there.
yeah… it was the Squill PO.