Store Owners of America:In 20 years has even one minimum wage clerk busted a $5 bill counterfeit ring with their stupid yellow highlighters?

Also, how did I lose my shoes in my own house. I mean, I’m home, I didn’t come home barefoot. They must be here somewhere…

Dear CustomerServiceReps:even if theres nothing you can do, if your company fucks up part of your job is letting to me yell at you for 30min

Dammit! Amazon’s understanding of “Next Day Delivery” kinda leaves something to be desired.