Tweet from Brigid (my lesbian, internet, photographer girlfriend): “Naked, troubleshooting my computer until it crashes by watching the Watchmen as the Avengers loads. Current status: teengeek’s wet dream.” My response: “also you’re a lesbian. Throw in a pizza boy or plumber and you’re the greatest porn cliche ever.”

There are few joys as great as being the only black guy at a wedding watching 20+ white people trying to electric slide.