I’ve been thinking about the whole Weinergate II: The Thickening, thing… I think he’s going about it all wrong. Stop saying that you’ve learned your lesson and you’re never going to do it again. Anyone who is offended isn’t going to buy it again. Certainly not in 40 days. You’ve lost those people. Instead, it’s time for Plan B:
RESPECT THE COCK!
(Thank you, Tom Cruise)
The people who could never vote for a mayor who likes to shoot pics of his junk are gone. You can’t get them back. Instead go on a national talk show tour wearing a pair of tight biker shorts and say “look, I’m just a regular guy. I have nothing to hide. I work hard. I love this city. I love my country. I love my cock! Wanna see it?” And then drop trow!
Call up his friend Bill Clinton. Call Tiger Woods and Brett Favre! The man is running for mayor of NYC. This isn’t Boise we’re talking about. Stop pandering to the conservative anti-cock lobbies. Sexual deviants who troll the internet are a powerful and untapped voting demographic. Energize them! Get them out to the polls (no pun intended)!
RESPECT THE COCK!