You know there’s nothin so depressing as getting your 401k statement and seeing your investments netted -$3.83.

Ok, I get that clearly I am an old man and no longer “cool.” Fine. But if you’re wearing your shorts sagging so low that there is visible leg between the BOTTOM of your briefs and the TOP of your belt, then WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING PANTS AT ALL?!?!? Seriously, just walk around…

Woohoo! Most recent update to my GPS removed the “I won’t use while driving warning”. I’m now free to ram into a school bus full of nuns!

So my brother, Marcus brought up this list I made a while back where I talked about the phenomenon of cute child stars who you looked at and said “Damn, they’re gonna grow up hot.” Jameel and I call it TMA’ing (after Tatyana M. Ali). Marc was impressed because when I made up the list…

Note to self: someday when writing a hoitytoity cultural studies paper, use “beneficent” in a sentence. You just read it & it sounds smart.

FUCKERS!!! So unless I really really care about special effects and sound and stuff, I usually buy DVDs instead of Blurays, the exception being when its only slightly cheaper and I can justify not having to rip it myself. So I’m at Best Buy and I see the movie I want is only $2 more…

Meanwhile, on the other side of town…http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57433184/fla-mom-gets-20-years-for-firing-warning-shots/

Guy at the Chinese restaurant just complimented my Kanji tattoos. Cool. Way better than him saying “why do you have DUMBASS on your arm?”

Wow oh wow oh wow… the KTLU research team is now being run by Richard, Sal and Captain Janks of the Howard Stern Show… Bababooey! Bababooey!!!!

You know, it never occurred to me that soldiers weren’t allowed to have whatever symbol their family wanted on their tombstone until Shelby Davis sent this to me today. I guess it’s cool that the military is now recognizing Odinists. However, as a lifelong follower of the All-father, I must say that if I am…

I was driving behind this guy for six blocks. Notice something missing? How did he not get pulled over? http://t.co/dlz2LjKiEUMav (@chrismaverick) posted a photo on TwitterGet the whole picture – and other photos from Mav

Whoa, watching Spring Breakers again. Is that @JeffJarrettTNA playing the preacher in the beginning? Yep, guess it is.

Why don’t people just cheat when they go on the Newlywed Game? You don’t need to know the questions. Just have a system: 1) if it’s a multiple choice question, always pick the one that’s first alphabetically 2) if it’s an age, always pick 16 3) if it’s any other number always pick 7 4)…